Day 1

Day 1

I have complete acceptance of the theory of TMS. I believe this is the most important thing I will ever learn. No matter if my symptoms are structural or psychosomatic, the principles I learn about TMS can help me in either case. Pain is simply all in our minds. It does not truly exist. Fear does. I hope to ultimately conquer my fears!

My worry is because I have an odd/weird set of symptoms that affect my life on every level, I still have doubts about what it might or could be. Not having any real, concrete diagnosis from 15+ doctors/specialists over the past 2 years makes it harder for me to not worry. The best diagnosis I received was that it was psychosomatic. That was really tough to accept at first but it led me down this path. I'm grateful for that.

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Basically I endured/ignored the symptoms of a 5 year "nervous breakdown"; now, while I am "better" than before, I have incredible bodily and stomach pain and a general feeling of being sick WHILE and DURING and THROUGH my sleep, like I'm being poisoned. Plus vivid disturbing dreams all night and major catathrenia (breath holding with a very slow exhale). Also I have an electric vibrating sensation through my body upon waking. It's insane. Not sleeping well for 2 years is tough. I feel like I have a hangover many mornings and I don't drink! Stress causes huge downgrades in my healing process and things have been very stressful in my city (California Thomas fire survivor!) and in my home (mom to a teenage daughter) lately. Hard to catch a break.

 

Welcome esmetutu - and be sure to hang on to this. The first requirement for recovery in this work is to love yourself enough that you know you deserve to recover. You've taken the first step by accepting the diagnosis - so congratulate yourself, and give yourself credit for having done that. 100% acceptance will come as you continue to collect the evidence.

~Jan