Day 1

As I stated in the couple other posts, I feel like I've had quite a few AHA moments in the last couple days. I'm just starting the six week program today. The post asks us to discuss where were at today. I think I'm at a point of in my heart I'm 100% in acceptance of the fact that I have TMS. I have been able to mentally ,and now on paper,map out tms episodes throughout my life for the last 12 years. I understand the process and all the work I'm going to have to do to even begin to scratch the surface of my battle with tms. I guess right now this feels a little bit overwhelming. I go back-and-forth between the feeling of elation and feeling overwhelmed. I recognize that this feeling of overwhelmed is probably more like just another fear tactic.

Thinking through how I've developed patterns to self bully over the years, I realize while I exercise that a lot I also do truly love myself. I know that I am a very strong person and that I deserve to be well. I think that accepting that and knowing that might be a huge part of my recovery.

I guess I should add that I've come up with a list of inherent contradiction's Which has helped me affirm that my pain is related to my emotions and not to a physical cause. I literally have been able to talk myself out of pain in the last two days. I am moving in ways I have not moved in over year. That to me is a huge success.

A huge thank you to Alan and Mike for being very supportive in these early stages of recovery for me.

 

Hi, Crissyxox. Your post today is firm evidence that you are going to heal. Believing as you do that your pains are TMS emotionally caused and not structural is the most important thing in healing. You are already feeling better, and that is a wonderful sign you will soon be healthier and happier than you ever imagined. Keep up the great work and keep is posted. The SEP and TMS are both wonderful journeys into self-discovery. Have a great weekend.
Try to enjoy yourself.

 

Great Day 1 post, Crissy. You can come back to re-read it whenever you're having a set back. (And I see you hit a roadblock later today, I'm kind of working backwards through various posts )

~Jan