As I stated in the couple other posts, I feel like I've had quite a few AHA moments in the last couple days. I'm just starting the six week program today. The post asks us to discuss where were at today. I think I'm at a point of in my heart I'm 100% in acceptance of the fact that I have TMS. I have been able to mentally ,and now on paper,map out tms episodes throughout my life for the last 12 years. I understand the process and all the work I'm going to have to do to even begin to scratch the surface of my battle with tms. I guess right now this feels a little bit overwhelming. I go back-and-forth between the feeling of elation and feeling overwhelmed. I recognize that this feeling of overwhelmed is probably more like just another fear tactic. Thinking through how I've developed patterns to self bully over the years, I realize while I exercise that a lot I also do truly love myself. I know that I am a very strong person and that I deserve to be well. I think that accepting that and knowing that might be a huge part of my recovery. I guess I should add that I've come up with a list of inherent contradiction's Which has helped me affirm that my pain is related to my emotions and not to a physical cause. I literally have been able to talk myself out of pain in the last two days. I am moving in ways I have not moved in over year. That to me is a huge success. A huge thank you to Alan and Mike for being very supportive in these early stages of recovery for me.