Day 1

[mhernandez1988]

Hello everyone, this is my first official post, my name is Michael, by the way.

I want to believe TMS, prior to my most recent onset of symptoms i always had alot of pain when confronted with tough emotional feelings. Like any time the "goodist" in me was threatened by the idea of not being good enough for my fiance, when she would get dissappointed, my neck and right arm would start burning and I would have immense pain, but in that moment i was thinking about my arm, not how i was a failure or not good enough, or even back to earlier childhood issues and gender/sexuality issues.

Working at a struggling startup company as a software engineer I find that daily, even though I am a great engineer, I am confronted with immense stress and continuous failure, working 30+ hours straight often, with strong emotional depression, anxiety, and feelings of "imposter syndrome".

It has only been a short time since the onset of "permanent" symptoms, by that i mean, symptoms that are there all the time, not just in the most stressful moments. It's been about a month and a half. I have recovered from the immense pain since starting a healthy regimen and reading Sarno's TMP, however its all still there.

Chiropractors, doctors, and pt's ive seen have called it. "Nerve impingement", "RSI", "Thoracic Outlet Syndrome". Insurance denied MRI.

I saw myself on every page of Sarno's TMP, how do I let go of the fear of pain. I can see it in my mind. Sometimes ill see a code snippet on paper, and `brace` for pain, that association is clearly unhealthy.

Stopping myself from writing anymore, but, any thoughts, supportive tips, guidance.

btw. On top of work stress, i am getting married, which is fun and amazing and beautiful, but put incredible stress on me and my fiance.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi Michael, and Welcome!

It sounds like you've got a really good handle on the way that TMS works and what it's doing to you. And you're starting the SEP which is designed to give you a daily routine to build your knowledge and provide the tools to discover your deeper issues.

For your next book you might choose either Dr Sarno's next book "The Divided Mind", written with six other health professionals, or "The Great Pain Deception" by Steve Ozanich.

And keep in mind that there is no one way to do this work, but one universal piece of advice is to let go of your perfectionism and don't try too hard.

Thanks for the reminder about "imposter syndrome"! That's why I keep coming back to the forum after four years, because I am reminded about things like that, which continue to be helpful in what is a lifelong process.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

PS, congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and yep, even happy occasions are ripe for setting off TMS ;-)

 

[mhernandez1988]

Thank you Jan. I have begun "The Divided Mind", which is good for understand the psychology which is a nice read. I will definitely by The Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Michael. I too welcome you to the TMS community. You will find much here to help you, and you did yourself a big favor by coming here and starting the SEP. Your job and upcoming marriage are two of the big reasons many people have physical pain and emotional stress. They are very common,
and the good thing to keep in mind is, neither of the reasons is fatal.

Do the best you can at work and don't pressure yourself to be the best. You are very conscientious so you probably work harder and better than most others. Try spend more time relaxing.

I never married but most of my family and friends have. Don't let it worry you. You have the right idea... think of it as fun, amazing, and beautiful.