A life without TMS would literally mean everything to me, hope, endless possibilities, no restrictions, no limits, all my dreams would become within reach instead of clouded by fear of pain and fear of fear itself holding me back. However slight or severe the pain it always elicits the same response: I am broken, how will I be able to achieve my dreams as a broken being? How will anybody ever love and count on this broken being? How did I get to this point? Why did I get to this point? What did I do to deserve this? Why will nothing I do fix this pain? All I want is to feel normal again so that I can do what I was put on this earth to do, whatever it may be, unshackled by pain that moves around and around making me obsessed with the correct posture and whether this chair is good or that sofa, every minor detail is the biggest deal in my mind and I don't know where this came from. Every minor task or activity puts the fear of god into me. Like can I go to watch Hateful 8 at the cinema because it's nearly 3 hours long and my back will hurt? I mean come on i'm 28 years old, I eat right (most of the time), I exercise every day either running, pilates, weight training or Tai Chi, sometimes a number of those activities and yet I am still fearful of going to the cinema. I am not even remotely ocd, I am chilled and calm but this syndrome has changed the person that I am into someone that I don't recognise anymore and yet to every else in this world I'm exactly the same, because I am so in denial and ashamed that I can't bare to mention in to anyone apart from my closest friends and family. Reading Dr Sarno's book has for the first time given me hope that I AM NOT BROKEN and I will carry on sharing my journey with anyone who wishes to hear it, I just hope it reaches someone who was as hopeless as I was before I read this book. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Clearly I have a lot of emotional pain to work through and I couldn't be more happy to realise that fact because dealing with those emotions is my way out of this hell. All I need to say to TMS right now is whether you are a friend that has tried to protect me or a parasite feeding off me I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE & I WILL REGAIN CONTROL OF MY MIND & BODY! NOW I KNOW WHAT YOUR GAME IS YOUR TIME IS UP! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO DRAG YOU KICKING & SCREAMING TMS, I WILL REGAIN CONTROL & GET MY LIFE BACK!!! And if it turns out that you are a friend, then I'm sorry for this outburst and thank you for helping me through the darkness but I'm ok now and you have to let go. Really, it's time to let me decide what I can and can't handle, I am strong, resiliant, caring, creative and driven and I do not need your protection anymore. So please, just let go.