In 2009 I was diagnosed with a herniated and bulging disk in my lower back, cervical bone spurs and Fibromyalgia. Since that time I have dealt with chronic pain on a daily basis. I have been through x-rays, MRI's, and tons of medications. I have developed an addiction to pain medication and began Methadone treatment in 2011. I am currently on Suboxone, not for withdrawal so much as for treatment of my pain. I look forward to the day when I no longer have to put chemicals in my body to get through the day. Dr. Sarno's book, The Mindbody Prescription was recommended by a friend and I just began reading it two days ago. Last month I went to Costa Rica with an online transformational leader and dealt with a lot of repressed emotions, basically crying for 7 days straight. The funny thing is that I thought I had dealt with and gotten over all the traumas in my life. Boy was I wrong. After leaving Costa Rica I was pain free for 3 weeks! I have felt that my pain was "trapped" emotional issues for sometime now and have been on a spiritual journey since October, 2014 trying to heal myself. I totally recognize myself in the pages of The Mindbody Prescription. I dealt with childhood abuse and had a mother who was an alcoholic, drug addict and drug dealer. My father was rarely around. My grandmother raised me until the age of 5 when she found out she had colon cancer. She was more like a mother to me than my maternal mother and was the only one who gave me unconditional love. From the age of eight on I carried the responsibility of most all household duties and caring for my baby sister. I left home at 15 to escape the abuse. I have always been a hard-worker and very responsible. I had my first child at 26 years old and since have had two more. I bought my home 14 years ago and have always given my children anything they could want or need. I see now that everything I have done in life has been to prove that I am not my mother and to escape the emotional pain of my childhood. I married in 2009 and my husband unexpectedly passed away at 37 years old in 2012 leaving me alone and pregnant with our son, my third child. I totally accept my pain is TMS. I hope that I can learn to feel my emotions instead of avoid them. When negative things happen I know I should be sad and want to cry, but I can never seem to bring myself to do it. The only emotion I am intimately familiar with is anger. I often scream at my children, get road rage, and take aggression out on inanimate objects. I have known for years that I have anger issues but have never really known what to do about it. I now see that I keep myself busy 24/7 to escape my emotions! Who can feel when they don't have time to think. I am so excited about the possibilities of this program and am so grateful for all of those responsible for creating this free recovery site. I am also grateful for all those that have shared their stories of pain, struggles and healing. Thank each and every one of you!