Day 1 SEP

[jessicaLee]

What would a life without TMS mean to me? A life without pain and fear would be life changing. If and when I can get past this I will want to change all the adjectives that I use daily to describe myself: sad, inadequate, uncomfortable, tense, lonely, worried, worthless. My new description will read: brave, strong, resilient, blessed, loving and kind.
I have been suffering from chronic face and neck pain, isolated in one place for well over a year. I have tried it all; MRI, Xray, neurologist, oral facial specialist, chiropractor, massage therapy, cold laser therapy, acupuncture, drugs, therapy............. and yet still have the discomfort and no diagnosis, so here I am at the Structured Educational Program.
My life is a life diminished and I honestly don't know how I can go on if this last attempt doesn't work.
I am reading the books, meditating and reading what you all have to say.
I know the rest is up to me.

 

[jml19]

What would a life without TMS mean to me? A life without pain and fear would be life changing. If and when I can get past this I will want to change all the adjectives that I use daily to describe myself: sad, inadequate, uncomfortable, tense, lonely, worried, worthless. My new description will read: brave, strong, resilient, blessed, loving and kind.
I have been suffering from chronic face and neck pain, isolated in one place for well over a year. I have tried it all; MRI, Xray, neurologist, oral facial specialist, chiropractor, massage therapy, cold laser therapy, acupuncture, drugs, therapy............. and yet still have the discomfort and no diagnosis, so here I am at the Structured Educational Program.
My life is a life diminished and I honestly don't know how I can go on if this last attempt doesn't work.
I am reading the books, meditating and reading what you all have to say.
I know the rest is up to me.

It WILL work....so hang in there. But I will tell you that you need to be willing to give yourself time to heal. That's one of the hard parts. But it will come eventually. Remember to focus on neutralizing the fear around the pain, rather than focusing on the pain itself. As the fear leaves, the pain will fade. So many of us can relate to everything you are feeling and experiencing. Since I started the SEP, my fears left...well, mostly. There are days when it returns and I think "Well, I've failed again" and then I speak to that negative bully voice inside of me and tell it to "shut up!" and that I don't believe a thing it says. Then I feel better immediately. Sometimes, when the fear strikes (and we all know that niggly, panicky-type feeling), I simply say, "NO!!" and then it is gone. I also understand that sad and lonely feeling. When we've been in pain for a while, it can really sap everything out of us. We think, "Is it always going to be like this? Am I ever going to feel normal again?" If I could give you one piece of advice today, it is to do something that I actually plan to do myself when I finish this post: I am going to make a list of all the things I am thankful for. Then I will list them on my phone and set the alarm so that every couple of hours or so, I am reading one of those thankful things. If you decide to try this, within your list be sure to put down "I am thankful that I am a brave woman", "I am thankful that I am a loving a kind woman", and so on. Declare the things that are true about you and meditate on those every day. It will help.

 

[jessicaLee]

It WILL work....so hang in there. But I will tell you that you need to be willing to give yourself time to heal. That's one of the hard parts. But it will come eventually. So many of us can relate to everything you are feeling and experiencing. Since I started the SEP, my fears left...well, mostly. There are days when it returns and I think "Well, I've failed again" and then I speak to that negative bully voice inside of me and tell it to "shut up!" and that I don't believe a thing it says. Then I feel better immediately. Sometimes, when the fear strikes (and we all know that niggly, panicky-type feeling), I simply say, "NO!!" and then it is gone. I also understand that sad and lonely feeling. When we've been in pain for a while, it can really sap everything out of us. We think, "Is it always going to be like this? Am I ever going to feel normal again?" If I could give you one piece of advice today, it is to do something that I actually plan to do myself when I finish this post: I am going to make a list of all the things I am thankful for. Then I will list them on my phone and set the alarm so that every couple of hours or so, I am reading one of those thankful things. If you decide to try this, within your list be sure to put down "I am thankful that I am a brave woman", "I am thankful that I am a loving a kind woman", and so on. Declare the things that are true about you and meditate on those every day. It will help.

Thank you so much for your reply and your suggestions. Will follow up on your good advice