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Day 1 - My experience

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Piscessoul1980, Jan 12, 2020.

  1. Piscessoul1980

    Piscessoul1980 Newcomer

    While I don’t have back/neck issues, I have had unexplainable symptoms for the past 4+ years: mainly brain fog/severe cognitive impairment, dizziness and off-balance feelings, pressure in my throat.

    It all began on 9/27/15 when I had an intense panic attack one week after my wedding. To be fair, this has been an extremely stressful several months leading up: 33-year old brother nearing his deathbed from alcohol addiction, planning my wedding, grandmother dying, major job instability, planning all finances for wedding/honeymoon, etc. (Background on me: I got married at age 35, husband has two sons (now 19 and 18). I am the breadwinner of the family by more than double, I owned the house before we were married, kids live with us full time, I have a strong marriage now but went through a lot of crap with husband’s debt/drinking/neglect of reality...we have come a long way and are in a good place now).

    Long story short, I have never felt right after the “event”. Initially, I started having regular panic attacks and feeling like the rooms/walls were moving. After a few weeks and ER/doctor trips, a heavy depression set in - was this my new reality? I was always very carefree, balanced and even keel - people commented how nothing bothered me. Still, I have a very driven, perfectionist personality- especially the older I get. My brain would race 24/7 and I could not control any thoughts, it was excruciating. I felt like I was an a runaway train. It took me over 1.5 years to level out a bit but by that time the damage was done. I have been left with a symptom I call “brain fog” but it’s more like a constant pressure-energy in my head. I am aware of it 24/7/365. I physically feel a sort of “thought pressure” in my head, cannot grasp thoughts and no longer have capacity to visualize with my minds eye. It sounds crazy as I type this, I know, but it’s been a challenge to explain the experience since day 1.

    I’m here because I totally see the possibility of my mind throwing these crazy symptoms up to distract me from emotions festering that I’ve blocked for years (although hard time comprehending but that’s my “new norm”). I am so ready to feel them and learn how to heal.
     
    Katy Elise, Aimee88 and nowa like this.
  2. Aimee88

    Aimee88 Peer Supporter

    You are ready, so now is the time. Welcome.
     
    Piscessoul1980 likes this.
  3. BMC1995

    BMC1995 New Member

    Hi piscessoul1980,

    I appear to be having similar symptoms as to what you are describing. I have a history of TMS and multiple different manifestations including lower back pain, shoulder pain, upper back pain, insomnia, GI problems, and a few other I’m forgetting at the moment. Nevertheless, what I am experiencing is cognitive impairment, particularly difficulty with reading and comprehending and just generally thinking slower about things. I also feel like information can be a bit overwhelming. Are you still experiencing your symptoms, and if so are these similar to the symptoms you have been experiencing/were experiencing? I’m trying to figure out myself if what I am going through is TMS or a concussion; although I did not hit my head I took a fall that kinda rattled my head a little and had the onset of these symptoms after. And I have been in a stressful period of my life which is making things hard to figure out whether it is TMS or concussion.

    Thanks and hope you are doing well.
     

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