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Day 1 Day 1: Hopeful

G

Guseman

Peer Supporter
Hi, my name is Jessica, and for the past 5 months I have been dealing with high levels of anxiety, along with all kinds of moving pains. For the first couple of months, I would get dizziness and head rushes. Then it morphed into chest pains, and pain in my left arm, which of course had me obsessing that there was something wrong with my heart (which there isn't). Peppered in throughout this time, I've had many days where my legs feel like they are too light. Most recently I'm back to dizziness and pains all over. Interestingly, I had terrible back pain all summer before the bulk of the anxiety hit me.
This also all correlates with our recent move across the country. I landed a job in WV, which meant that my husband and I moved away from my childhood hometown in Washington State in September, leaving friends and family I've been near to my whole life.
About a week and a half ago, I decided to start reading The Divided Mind, and it fit me so well. The people-pleaser personality and the perfection drive have been me since I was a kid. So I'm very convinced that the pain and anxiety are a distraction from dealing with my difficult situation. Now I'm trying to work on getting it to go away. Its so frustrating, because I feel crappy all the time. But I'm feeling pretty hopeful as I start this program!
 
Hi, Jessica. I just read your posting of yesterday. It seems to me that your symptoms are a result of the trauma of moving from a familiar location and life to a less known one. My parents moved every year or two when I was growing up, so I know what dislocation means. My strongest memory of childhood is sitting on the back end of a moving truck, waving goodbye to my friends. Over the years, friends have noticed how quickly I make new friends. I had to, as a boy in another new neighborhood in Chicago.

For you, I suggest putting yourself in positions to make new friends. Join a church, become a member of a church club, volunteer at a nursing home or hospital, work at a soup kitchen. Join a "fun" club for any activity you enjoy. Join a gym. Just one or two things where you will make new friends.

I hope you will do some journaling in the SEP so you uncover repressed emotions that may have been with you for years, very likely going back to ypur girlhood. Any insecurities there? The move across the country may have "triggered" that.

TMS is really a wonderful thing. It not only heals us of pain but we learn so much about ourselves and others that we become not only healthier,
but happier people. Enjoy your TMS journey.
 
Thanks for the encouraging words! The move has definitely been a huge factor. In fact, the first panic attack occurred on the first day after we left home. I knew it wasn't coincidence, but they were also so severe and frequent at the time that I figured something had to be wrong with me. Our brains are really incredible! I've definitely been starting to look for organizations. I joined a choir recently and I'm hoping to talk to more people there! I'm looking forward to SEP being really helpful!
 
Welcome to the forum Guseman! I've had TMS and I certainly identify with your struggle with anxiety, as well as pains and various stress symptoms moving around my body. I'm still on the journey towards complete healing, but I've had an 80-90% improvement in my levels of back pain. I just recently finished the SEP and I would highly recommend it! All the best on your journey of recovery.
 
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