1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
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Day 1! Hopeful and terrified

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by giulietta90, Jan 11, 2021.

  1. giulietta90

    giulietta90 New Member

    Hi everyone! I am here because I am hoping to find a way to get rid on my hands weakness and chronic pain.

    I used to be a classical violist; four years ago a sudden excruciating pain showed up in my left arm while I was practicing... and never left. It has been a nightmare since then!
    I stopped playing for a while and then started to reintroduce viola slowly (5 minutes per day) while doing physio with a docotr specialized in classical musicians and dancers, but it never worked. The familiar weakness kept showing up again, followed by pain if I didn't stop.
    My musical career used to mean everything to me... and for a while I couldn't even brush my hair because of the pain. I've done multiple test MRI and ulstrasounds, after which I got diagnosed with De Quervain Syndrome and a beginning of osteoarthitis (not enough to justify the pain, they say)

    Itried so many different thing I lost count!!

    - Ice, warm patches
    - osteopathy
    - acupunture
    - cortisone injections (ew)
    - mesotherapy
    - Physio for three (3!!!!!!!) years

    ...nothing worked. Autoimmuno diseases just got ruled out last week and no inflammation whatsoever shows up in my blood work!

    On January 2020, after 3 frustrating years, I decided to quit my musical career.
    Now I am working as an illustrator, and boy I love it so much! It brought a lot of joy and satisfaction in my life, because it comes so easy to me!! Music wasn't as easy. I just started and I am already illustrating a book!
    HOWEVER: the weakness keeps showing up and I am scared I am going to need to stop my current occupation as well...

    I spoke with a TMS doctor in the us and he recommended omeopathy which hasn't worked and muscle energy ostheopathy, which I still have to try. I thought I would give this program a shot as well. I also read The Divided Mind by Sarno, and I saw myself on every single page!!!
    Still, a big part of me thinks this isn't TMS and I am hopeless. That I will never be able to do what i love the most (drawing) for a living.

    This was so long. Sorry about that, and thank you for reading....
    Baseball65 and Hedger like this.
  2. giulietta90

    giulietta90 New Member

    I am crying while reading the stories of people who psychologically are so similar to me (goodist, extra hard on themselves, etc), and went through astoundingly similar path! Yet I am almost too scared to think that might be me one day..... I am a little mess.
    Baseball65 and Hedger like this.

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