Hi all, I'm beginning again. I dropped off the TMS train about 2.5 months ago, and decided to get back on, not at Day 25, which is where I left off, but Day 1, to start of the building again from the foundation, as talking to Baseball65 is teaching me that I really need to begin again and missing certain fundamentals. Level of acceptance. 60%. It's shocking that my level of acceptance is this low. I was diagnosed with TMS in 2017, after 2 years of back pain and recovered in 18 days. I grew up in a traumatic home. I'm living in a lot of stress right now. I have all the personality traits of one who is a TMSer. I spoke to Dr. Schechter who told me I had all the markers of TMS. I have even gotten better from the 20 days that I worked on here; used to have pain in both legs, could not even walk down the stairs, now I can. I'm even back to working out. But I don't fully accept it. Why? Even though the toe pain has reduced by over 70% , is intermittent, and has withstood running, the MRIs still have me convinced that the seismoditis is the cause of the pain. Because not that many people here talk about seismoditis. It seems crazy to me that the toe could be TMS, even though, EVEN THOUGH, it has gotten much better. 3 months ago I could not even put any weight on it. Now, I can, easy. And yet. Is there something wrong with me for not being able to accept even with so much overwhelming evidence? The knee is the same story. Had the MRI done. These damn fucking doctors. Sometimes I wish I had an MRI done on my left leg, because when I started experiencing pain on my left, I LITERALLY did not pay any attention to it, REJECTED that it could be structrual, and it left. These damn MRIs have etched a hole in my mind. And here's the rub. Even iF it was structural, according to my faith in Christ, it has been healed: 1 Peter 2:24. I mean, God literally speaks hundreds of bible verses saying He HAS healed me. So if God Has healed me, then what is the pain? Deception from the brain. A distraction. And yet I struggle to believe. The pain freaking terrifies me. How can this be my mind? How??? Is there something wrong with me for struggling to believe?