Joey7
New Member
Hi everyone, so i started the SEP on Monday the 30th and today is my 4th day. I read Sarno's healing back pain about 2 weeks ago and have been working on myself and journalling a lot since then, but only just found this programme on Monday and jumped right in. I have been suffering lower back, and savage sciatica since October last year, was diagnosed as 2 herniated discs but after reading about TMS all the signs point to that (i do still have my doubts though and really wish i could let go of them as i dont want that to be the reason i'm not 100% pain free YET).
I can definitely see some changes, such as being able to walk with less pain and further as well, sometimes building up the courage to jog (but only for like 2 minutes because i am so un-fit atm - haven't done any vigorous exercise since about October), and when i do it hurts at first but then i can feel the pain "seeping" out, and this clearly hasn't made me worse because if it was going to...it would have by now, so i take that as a good sign. I have also been trying to be less neurotic when it comes to how i sit, sleep (no longer with a pillow) and bend.
I have been working a lot on my repressed emotions and have unlocked quite a lot of feelings, such as a HUGE feeling on inadequacy and the feeling that i am no where near as good as everybody else (in every aspect). Anger and envy towards my older sibling who seems to have everything together: friends, intelligent with a prestigious uni degree, a good job, healthy body, good looking, he's even going on holiday this summer with his best mate, (yes he is a boy btw, but the envious feelings are just as strong as if i had a pretty thin popular big sister). I also have A LOT of work to do with my body image and how i see myself inside and out, I've had these feelings all my life but developing an eating disorder when i was 16 in 2012 and even struggling today, definitely turned those feelings and thoughts up to 11. So yes i am still putting the pieces back together from that but i have come a long way and i am proud.
I hope that posting on this forum will help me feel less alone in how i feel right now, it has been the worst few months of my life and after struggling with other things in my teenage years i didn't think anything could trump that (but that is human nature of course - you don't realise what you've got till it's gone), anyway i know that i have found a safe place to share parts of myself where people will really understand what we have all gone through whether it be years or months and i hope i can also help people too.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you stuck around that long.
See you all for day 5
I can definitely see some changes, such as being able to walk with less pain and further as well, sometimes building up the courage to jog (but only for like 2 minutes because i am so un-fit atm - haven't done any vigorous exercise since about October), and when i do it hurts at first but then i can feel the pain "seeping" out, and this clearly hasn't made me worse because if it was going to...it would have by now, so i take that as a good sign. I have also been trying to be less neurotic when it comes to how i sit, sleep (no longer with a pillow) and bend.
I have been working a lot on my repressed emotions and have unlocked quite a lot of feelings, such as a HUGE feeling on inadequacy and the feeling that i am no where near as good as everybody else (in every aspect). Anger and envy towards my older sibling who seems to have everything together: friends, intelligent with a prestigious uni degree, a good job, healthy body, good looking, he's even going on holiday this summer with his best mate, (yes he is a boy btw, but the envious feelings are just as strong as if i had a pretty thin popular big sister). I also have A LOT of work to do with my body image and how i see myself inside and out, I've had these feelings all my life but developing an eating disorder when i was 16 in 2012 and even struggling today, definitely turned those feelings and thoughts up to 11. So yes i am still putting the pieces back together from that but i have come a long way and i am proud.
I hope that posting on this forum will help me feel less alone in how i feel right now, it has been the worst few months of my life and after struggling with other things in my teenage years i didn't think anything could trump that (but that is human nature of course - you don't realise what you've got till it's gone), anyway i know that i have found a safe place to share parts of myself where people will really understand what we have all gone through whether it be years or months and i hope i can also help people too.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you stuck around that long.
See you all for day 5
