Day 1, 2 & 3 - The TMS Personality

Well I'm a little late in posting my Day 1 thread.. but oh well!

I was recently diagnosed with myofascial pain syndrome (although I knew long before my doctor).
I have dealt with back pain for three years. Last fall it snowballed into peripheral neuropathies.
While doctors poured over MRIs and x-rays showing "normal abnormalities", I searched for the reason behind the real problem: the mine field of trigger points that my body had become.

I hesitated to accept TMS simply because at first, and at second, glance I didn't fit the personality: I'm not a perfectionist or most of the other adjectives usually used. I'm going to post this information about myself in case those doing internet searches may stumble upon it & it may help.

I didn't seem to fit the personality in some of the articles I initially read, but after reading Sarno's book I realized that I'm hard on myself. There are no excuses. I was raised with the notion that every problem must be a little bit your fault (stuff doesn't just happen): you didn't plan well, you didn't see it coming, you should have, could have, etc. Also, I was a rebel in my youth and when I turned myself around I was able to accomplish it by throwing myself into things. I've always been busy, busy, busy. My plate is always full. What would happen if I was idle? *shudders at the thought* And my sense of humor? A way to acknowledge problems without getting into them. My repression habit is going to be very hard to break. It IS my personality. I'm not a complainer... master multi-tasker... I don't nag and I don't blow up at my kids (well, very often)... and I'm the peacekeeper. So if I discontinue repressing then what will happen? My conscious has been asleep & my subconscious on autopilot. I believe this will be the hardest part for me: staying aware of when I'm repressing. And my biggest fear is that the TMS will manifest itself in new ways & I won't have control over it.

On the up side, though, I'm not afraid of the pain. I went back to my favorite fitness class today and worked up a good sweat. Experienced some short lived twinges & spasms but nothing bad. And I'd say my back pain now is about the same as usual, but I feel much better!

 

when I started the program I thought I had 2 of the personality traits. I certainly did not think I was a prefectionists. I don't care anything about a super clean house and organization...nope not me. But I am very much a perfectionist and so fear disappointing others. I blame myself even if I have nothing to do with the problem.

Good for you in your fitness class. Welcome to an amazing journey AngK.