I am pretty impressed with how this is working. I am handling painful episodes more sensibly these days. I have them, but don't feel as concerned or terrified as before. I keep focusing on the 12 reminders, which I have printed out next to my desk. I have exercised for 7 days straight and have gone up to 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 min of stretching, because I want to. I am riding bike daily to town and loving it. I am cutting short an extended visit I am on to a friend out of town, because the household is too stressful with very young children around 24/7. I felt a lot of guilt informing my host of this, but I am past that stage of my life and am not going to apologize for the way I feel. I have not been around young kids 24/7 for years, and though I love kids, this is not the time for me to be doing this sort of thing. This has created tension and disappointment with my host, but I have come too far health-wise to place myself in a position that is creating more stress than I already have. Normally, I would have been consumed by guilt to make this change, but I felt it necessary to do so and am at ease with the decision. A whole new approach. I meditate some days, if I feel a lot of tension. Don't meditate others. Don't feel guilty when I don't meditate. The MUST is also stressful and the cardio is often my "meditative" 30 min anyway. I am grateful for all the love and support I have in my life. I am grateful for this forum for providing advice and approaches not found elsewhere in this comprehensive format. You guys are doing a very good deed.