crying and depression

so the past couple months have been very hard for me. I feel i discovered sarno "too soon" into my symptoms for my brain to fully accept and feeling
this has caused me the most tension. I feel like having "tms" still scares me. anyway i had an emotional breakdown about everything with suicidal thoughts last week and cried for 1and a half days straight. my boyfriend was there thankfully and is just amazing and held me through it all. well after that breakdown my symptoms basically dissipated for 3 days and i had a hemmeroid flare *which in the past was always the last symptom to appear after my pelvic pain when i thougt it was all just bladder inf*. but my anxiety about it coming back increased again and i kept telling myself well clearly this is TMS because your symptoms wouldnt just disappear after a crying session sporadically. But now my symptoms are back and worse than ever and spreading. Has anyone found that they almost discovered sarno too soon, had a really tough time re implementing it but found somethung helpful? i force myself to sit because i know sitting doesnt cause the pain its jist conditioned. this tms thing sure is a big black box of fun for some of us.

 

Yes to most of what you wrote. I have gone through deep fears of symptoms and a period of feeling like I didn't want to be here.
The fear cycle can be continuous. What helped me the most was distraction. I didn't even know that was the answer to break the cycle, but it was.
I had pelvic pain. I had to fly across the country for my niece's wedding. I was going to cancel, but I'm her godmother, too.
I had to go. I got on the plane and took a good book.
I realized an hour into the flight that I was doing pretty well. Then the wedding weekend was non-stop busyness. I didn't have time to "think." Not having time to "think" and focus on "what was wrong" allowed my nervous system to relax.
I hope you can try this, somehow.
Can you go away for a weekend. Somewhere you have to walk and sit in restaurants and talk to other people?
You didn't discover Sarno too early. You are fortunate. I didn't get it for over 30 years!

Don't worry about the underlying cause, etc, right now. Just know that pelvic and bladder B.S. are being promoted on TV and in ads right now.
It has seeped into the minds of many, many women. It's flavor of the year diseases. They're bullshit. Your hemhorroids are from your worry and clenching in that area. Been there. Done that. And your pelvic pain wouldn't go away for 3 days if it was anything serious at all.
Tell your mind: "I am 100% willing to believe that this is psychological. It's ok. I love myself. I am safe."

Go see a movie. Distract yourself fully for a couple days. Give your nervous system a break.

You can do this.

 

No. I am glad I got TMS when I did (aged 32) ... I would rather have an enemy tell me the truth than a friend who lies to me to assuage my ego. You seem to be 'getting it', you just are on the downside. You'll be glad later. I am older now and I don't have to have any of those 'old man' problems' that all my bro's are going through... cause the majority are TMS.

You will only become wiser and be a better friend to other people... and waaaay more compassionate.

 

thank you for your replies. Yes i know all these symptoms are bullshit as ive literally had a version of this maybe 15 times in the past 5 or so years and it has always gone away as i always thought it was either a yeast inf. or bladder inf. or side effect of a medication dependent on the tms flavour of choice at that time. i NEVER had health cares in my life which is why i probably ended up in this curfuffle as my body has clearly been telling me i havent been treating myself all too well for many years. i do have a trip planned for next month as im in a friends wedding party so that is something to look forward to. unfortunately this has all brought up some serious personal anxiety issues and my mind has heavily mixed the physical and emotional stress. i probably "should" have embarked on this journey with a therapist from the get go as my emotional issues of not being good enough (not doing this right, allowing my lizard brain to dominate me, etc) are clearly at the heart of it all and very difficult for me to handle. honestly if i can stabilize mentally and still have some pain i dont care. when you feel like you are literally going to blow up from anxiety on top of pain it gets quite difficult. i have come to realize i have made this whole process much more complicated than necessary. Hopefully one day i will get a much better handle on TMS as right now it has a handle of me.

 

>> this tms thing sure is a big black box of fun for some of us.<<

That's a nice way of putting it.

 

I'm going through exactly the same thing. I was originally diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis. Then, after the Consultant Urologist recommended having my bladder removed I told him thanks but no thanks. I then delved into my own research and was re-diagnosed with Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome. However, it still felt like something was missing. Everything was focused on the symptoms and not the cause. So I continued my search and finally discovered Dr Sarno. Everything made perfect sense and during my initial learning I had periods were my pain went away and symptoms reduced.
But then it all comes back with a vengance ! I now get a specific pain, more concentrated than it used to be....and yes it is a "Pain in the Ass". There's just so many reasons that prove it's TMS and not a physical problem.

The emotional outbursts and symptom pattern changes affect me as well, and yes, I believe it is all TMS. It is changing, trying new things to distract you. I'm certain of this. The advise I am following at the moment (although difficult) is to just ignore that pain. Or, if it makes sense, accept the pain. Either way just ignore it as best you can and don't let it stop you doing what you want to do. Eventually it will give up.

 

yes im becoming more confident everyday once again about all this although my moods are still all over the place. ive realized i definitely need to just keep distracted constantly in order to over come this fear, just like @MWsunin12 has said. both last night and tonight i was with people and although i still had anxiety over everything i was able to ignore pain twnges even as I sat all night w minimal pain after 8 months of continuous sitting. if im not supposed to sit wouldnt continuing sitting make me progressively worse and worse?? so yes distraction needs to happen. i have too much time on my own to sit and think. eventually i will have to be okay being on my own again but i think keeping busy with people will keep me more positive and decrease my anxiety over this whole thing. when my symptoms started again in sept even though i "worried" about them i wasnt obsessed with them or worried about what they meant for me and just jept working full time and for the most part enjoying life. eventually they left and were replaced with another symptom. we will keep on keeping on!

 

also i find it pretty incredible how many more people are showing up here with pelvic pain even since i first joined up in january.

 

I often find that I will feel great in a group or even on the phone because I am distracted. Once I am alone, I apparently have time for TMS to rear its ugly head again.