Day 15 Crushing it

[homorobothead]

Hey y'all!

So the prompt on the program asked me to talk about whether or not my pain has been moving around and if that has affected my belief in my TMS diagnosis, and my answer to that is: yep, it moved from my neck, to my elbows, to my hip (new one - thanks brain), to my lower back, to my knee, to my shoulder, to my head, to the top of my foot. But, you know what? It actually enforced my belief in my TMS.

My pain moving around reminds me of my dog doing every single trick he knows to get a treat. As soon as I notice it and conjure up that image, it goes away almost immediately.

As a side note: I woke up this morning completely pain free!

I had some jolts and stiffness yesterday, probably because the AC guy came over and took way longer than he was supposed to and interfered with my studio time, so I had a little resentful moment that my brain converted to some neck stiffness. Resentment seems to be my main trigger, for sure.

But I recognized it and breathed into it, and this morning I am pain free! It's been almost a year since I could say that. I rode my bike this morning, did a difficult workout, walked the dog, and am about to go to the teaching studio to help and learn myself.

I will keep working this program and understanding that I don't have to be frantically afraid of pain.

Thank y'all for your time and support. I am so grateful I found this community and this program.

 

[berlinale]

I am really happy for you to read about your progress. Keep doing the good work. I love the analogy with your dog. It demonstrates the absolute right mindset.

 

[GAC]

As scary as it can be, to think that you have pain somewhere new. Reflection on it just adds fuel to the fire of it being related to your mind, not your body. Pay particular attention to pain which manifests in places which you subconsciously fear, or which would impact on your life severely. I am convinced that the pain is created to keep you in fear.

Sore hand as a runner, not ideal, not debilitating though. Sore leg however, big problem.

 

[homorobothead]

I'd like to very respectfully disagree on a point @GAC, at least for my own case, I think the pain manifests because brain is trying to protect me from what it erroneously sees as "dangerous." So, just like "real" pain, like when you twist your ankle and your body sends a signal to your brain to "protect that ankle!," my brain is mistaking emotional pain for physical pain and basically trying to keep me from excerbating it. I think the fear is just a byproduct of my nervous system reacting to what it perceives as physical pain.

Honestly, I just feel so much better when I keep it light, and also respect/love my brain for trying to keep me safe instead of thinking of it as an enemy that is creating pain to keep me in fear. That's where I diverge with Dr. Sarnos and lean more toward Alan Gordon.

But, I do agree with you in that I DO think the pain resides in areas we depend on the most. I'm a potter, so I rely on my arms and neck and shoulders quite a bit and that is definitely where the pain likes to go.

 

[homorobothead]

Thanks @berlinale! How've you been feeling lately?

As an aside, my dog is a mastiff, so it's pretty funny to see him sit, roll over, lie down, and shake in rapid succession.

 

[berlinale]

Thanks @berlinale! How've you been feeling lately?

As an aside, my dog is a mastiff, so it's pretty funny to see him sit, roll over, lie down, and shake in rapid succession.

Thanks for asking, I am on day 12 of the program and feeling a bit better. My symptoms are still the same but I feel I am on the right track and I am beginning to think more positive. In order to avoid too high expectations and avoid disappointments, I teach myself not expect quick improvements and be patient. It is not exactly outcome independence, but I think it is a good next-best on the way to it. i still have mental ups and downs, but downs are getting less frequent.

by the way. as i am not a native speaker, i searched for the german word for "mastiff" only to find out that it is mastiff in german as well.

 

[homorobothead]

Thanks for asking, I am on day 12 of the program and feeling a bit better. My symptoms are still the same but I feel I am on the right track and I am beginning to think more positive. In order to avoid too high expectations and avoid disappointments, I teach myself not expect quick improvements and be patient. It is not exactly outcome independence, but I think it is a good next-best on the way to it. i still have mental ups and downs, but downs are getting less frequent.

by the way. as i am not a native speaker, i searched for the german word for "mastiff" only to find out that it is mastiff in german as well.

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better. We have a saying where I'm from in Louisiana in the U.S., which is: "How do you eat an alligator? One bite at a time. " Meaning, it's a big task, but if you take it a little at a time eventually you'll have eaten the whole alligator. Congrats on your progress!

I'm assuming you live in Germany, given your native tongue. If so, eat some of that incredible German bread for me, if you eat bread that is. I think it was called "Graubrot." My apologies if I butchered that spelling.

Spring is on the way, my friend. Thank you for being my buddy on this journey!

 

[berlinale]

Nice saying.

yes, I am from Germany and we have "Graubrot" here, but it is not that spectacular. I guess what you mean is either "Schwarzbrot" or "Körnerbrot". Unfortunatelly my TMS manifests in severe stomach problems, so at the moment I do not dare to eat any Schwarz- or Körnerbrot. But as soon as I do, i will think of you and let you know!