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Convincing spouse to explore possibility of TMS

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by orangjul, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. orangjul

    orangjul New Member

    I just wanted to come back to this thread and thank everyone who participated in it and gave me words of encouragement. It's been 6 months since I first read the MindBody Prescription and introduced my husband to it.

    Bob is doing wonderfully. The last roadblock we hit in June (above) passed quickly and he soon got back on track with with his healing. He gradually worked up his miles in biking and later added hiking. By October he was biking up to 45 miles and hiking up to 9 miles, with little to no pain! He still sometimes has difficult days, but he knows what he needs to do now - he picks up one of Sarno's or Steve O's books, reads for a bit, and gets back to feeling like himself soon after. A couple of weeks ago we went cross country skiing together for the first time in 2 years! IT WAS SO WONDERFUL! The depression is gone, we are doing the things we love to do together, and I feel like I've gotten my husband back! Our marriage is better and we are having lots of fun (we have a trip planned to Costa Rica in December)!!

    He still deals with some fear of the pain coming back. I know soon when we first try downhill skiing again, he's going to be anxious. But he has the tools now to deal with the anxiety and will gradually build up to skiing as aggressively as he used to before his injuries.

    We've become evangelists for Dr. Sarno's work and have told everyone we know. I have another friend (female, 33), who we'll call "Lydia". A few weeks ago she had an MRI, which revealed a herniated disc. Her doc wants her to see a special surgeon. AHHHHHH! I told her she HAS to read this book before she agrees to surgery. I told her about the book probably 3 weeks ago, and she says "she just doesn't have time!" We've been friends since the 3rd grade and I am not afraid to give her tough love. I say "how will you have time for surgery if you don't have 3 hours to read a book?!". I know to heal by reading the book, you need to read it more than once, but C'MON!!! I am so frustrated with her. She fits the profile for TMS to a tee, even more than my husband does. She knows his story and she knows what a struggle he went through before he finally read the book healed himself. But I think in her mind surgery is the easy answer. Today I emailed her the John Stossel video and she said she would try to watch it this week. It's 13 minutes!! Watch it right now for God's sake!! I think I have done everything I can to try to convince her and support her. Maybe some people just prefer to suffer? I just don't get it! Thankfully I'm married to Bob, not Lydia!
    Ellen and Tennis Tom like this.
  2. tmsandrew

    tmsandrew Peer Supporter

    Fantastic news - so good to hear!

    Thanks for sharing :)
  3. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Colly. Reading that annoying email from your colleague...
    I try to make it a firm rule never to open any email on a Friday or the weekend that may possibly be annoying.
    I open it on Monday. That way I don't even know about it over the weekend.
    But I know it's not easy to do, because of our perfectionist and "goodist" personalities.

    I also never answer the phone after 6 pm. It's rarely good news, and the bad news can wait until the next day.

    I even turn off the phone after 6 pm.

    Yes, I probably am burying my head in the sand. But it feels good there.
    Tennis Tom likes this.

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