Day 1 Continuing my journey (IBS, frequent urination, insomnia)

Hello,

I do have about 1 year of experience of knowledge of TMS, however I only just discovered this wiki and I'm still working through everything. Because of a recent flare up, I've decided to try this program to help.

Brief history. As a teenager I used to get frequent headaches and migraines. I also developed IBS at some point that continually worsened. I eventually got it to a manageable level with a strict diet (limited sugar, no gluten, dairy etc). I also woke up 5+ times a night to urinate, and had frequent urination as well. Somewhere along the line I started getting headaches and migraines a lot less frequently. I lived like this until my mid-20's. Life was normal enough and I managed ok.

Then out of seemingly nowhere after my brothers wedding, my frequent urination suddenly got ridiculously bad to the point where I'd feel like urinating again straight after urinating. This led me into a frantic panic and seeing doctors, doing tests, and severe anxiety. Bladder training helped somewhat, but my symptoms eventually started getting worse and even painful. I was convinced I had an chronic condition called Interstitial Cystic and would have a miserable life. However around this point, I talked to a couple that had gone through a similar ordeal and connected me with John Sarno's work. I quickly accepted I had TMS and my pain went away (but still had frequency). I began journaling and meditation.

Things remained steady for few months until I got Type 1 Diabetes. I think autoimmune conditions develop when the underlying trauma is not resolved and builds up to a point. I was very disappointed because unlike other TMS symptoms, I always had hope of a complete recovery, now at the very least I think I'll be stuck with diabetes.

At the moment, I still have IBS but it is nowhere near as sensitive as before (because I stopped caring what I eat) and my bladder sensitivity is still there. My insomnia is flaring up to the worst its ever been and I'm trying my best to not be fearful and anxious, but it is very hard. In the last year I have done work everyday and learnt a lot about myself, my self-criticism, self pressure, and where it all originated from in childhood. I feel a lot more stable psychologically, but I'm finding it hard to access my repressed emotions and feel my feelings (particularly anger). I have also seen a TMS therapist for a few months. However, my symptoms haven't really gotten better. I often feel down when I hear all the success stories and I'm still struggling. It can be hard to relate at times because my symptoms are not pain related like the majority, but just as distressing. I'm trying to be patient with myself and just continue onwards.

Thanks,

 

Hi @JanAtheCPA thanks for the recommendation. I have actually read part of that book, and also Gabor's latest book, The Myth of Normal.

Can you please clarify your last sentence? It doesn't make sense to me. Did you mean physical recovery might be achievable? I just want to make sure I understand your take on it. Thanks.