Confused

[crimslock]

G'day,

Bit stuck and confused at the moment. I have been treating my TMS for about 7 months and had no change since the first 4 weeks of discovering i had TMS. My main symptom of burning (nerve pain) will not go away. My back pain and pain when exercising or lifting has gone almost completely. So i have had some great success, but and a big but the burning will not go away. When i sit or lye down my body burns. Its terrible, i hate it so much. I can't stand it. I can't escape it.

I am not sure if i am following the correct treatment process. I have read all Sarno's books and Schubiner unlearn your pain. I am thinking psychological instead of physical, talking to my brain, journalling and mind fullness techniques(mostly from unlearn your pain CD). I feel like i am not doing something correct or missing something. I have noted in some post people talking about expressing their feelings or chaining their thoughts or discovering their personalities and thinking different about life etc.. I am really confused about all that stuff. I guess i don't do anything like that and just do the previous stuff mentioned. My journalling in the beginning would make me feel better after i would express some real heavy stuff, but now i have covered all my past and present. Feel that i have nothing more to write about.. I just feel lost, confused and missing out on some part of the treatment process.. Should i be examining my daily thoughts but how do you do that? that would send me nuts.. Also i read about thinking clean, i just don't get that at all. I guess i am a simple guy. I just try and live my and not focus on the pain.

 

[yb44]

Hey Crimslock,

It is mighty confusing at times for sure. You sound like you are trying really hard and have already achieved some great results. Maybe you are trying a bit too hard and worrying too much about not doing enough or doing things perfectly. You don't have to journal anymore. If it's not helping, let it go for a bit or completely.

I tried to journal at first but the TMS bug would bite my hand every time I picked up a pen and tried to write. I would get a few sentences in and then couldn't hold the pen any more. I am preparing a job application at the moment and I have hand-written about 12 pages of notes for a personal statement. I couldn't do that last year. I don't know when or how I got to the point where I was even able to hand-write like this again. I stopped paying attention.

What I have done over the last year is made a concerted effort to get out of my head and into my life. I have made a bunch of new friends and rekindled old interests that I let fall by the wayside. As for the pain, I had simply stopped focussing on getting better. I looked at what else I wanted out of my life and set myself small goals to make these wants into haves.

I did reach a point with my longest running symptom, migraine, where I was like you, hating it, not being able to stand it or escape it. I found the following article very helpful.

http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Breaking_the_Pain_Cycle,_by_Alan_Gordon_LCSW

Take note though, what assists one person's recovery won't necessarily have the same impact on you. That is perfectly (pun intended) okay. Books, articles and podcasts are not cure alls. They are just food for thought.

Have a great weekend Down Under.

 

[Lala]

I know I keep bringing up this book on everybody's posts...but it really took my understanding of TMS to a whole new level... Steven Ozanich's book THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION. I agree with yb44...sounds like you are too "outcome dependent"....less focus on your "healing" and more focus on getting back into your life...Steven talks about his own process of dealing with this in his book (took him 15 months to heal after 30 years of pain). You are stuck, but you can become unstuck...keep moving forward and have faith.

 

[Michael Reinvented]

Hey Crimslock,

Your descriptions offer in insight into why your are stuck mate.

"When i sit or lye down my body burns. Its terrible, i hate it so much. I can't stand it. I can't escape it. "

Here's the inescapable truth...terrible, hate, cant stand, can't escape are all reactions that amount to you mentally pouring kerosene on the "burning" fire.

Back off, hit the surf. Start to try to measure your success in terms of how little you react to these obviously horrible symptoms.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Great advice, everyone - I like all your posts! Crimslock, I hope these help you, because everyone is spot-on.

I would also suggest that you use self-talk to break your negative inner dialogue. You can do this whether you believe it or not - there is a strange power in saying things to yourself even if you don't yet believe them to be true. I put off using self-talk for a LONG time because I didn't believe that it would work if I wasn't sincerely committed to what I was saying. But I recently personally experienced success with some new arm pain that receded to the background after I read about Outcome Independence (courtesy of Alan Gordon) and started replacing my pain obsession with constructive self-talk. Is the pain 100% gone? No - but I'd say it's 90% gone, which works for me! I am sure it will be 100% eventually.

An example for you might be: "This burning sensation is not worthy of my respect or my attention, because it is NOT harmful, it's just an annoying distraction by my brain to avoid feeling deep fear or rage. I really don't care anymore if it burns or not - I'm going to ignore it and think of something else".

Just start saying that, out loud if you can, or loudly in your head if you're in public, ANY and EVERY time you want to focus on the burning. And then go and do something constructive or pleasurable. And keep the faith!

Jan