Day 3 Confused

It is my third day of recovery.
It was a beautiful, sunny autumn day, my husband and I took our dog to a three hour walk. It was perfect, the smell of a wood and leaves.
Whole day I was busy, with much less obsession about symptoms. However, as soon as I seat down this afternoon to take a little rest, my lower back at the left side started to hurt, and there is that feeling of fear again - if I move or stand up suddenly, I'll end up in excruciating pain. To add also, my right knee is painful in some dull way.
But, this I can bear with. What I need reassurance for it's following: often at night I wake up and my hand, or hands, especially the little finger and area around it, is completely numb. I have to shake my hand or massage it to bring it back to normal state. Could this also be a presentation of TMS? I am confused because it happens in my sleep, when my mind is shut down, or at least I think so. Has anybody else had this experience with numbness of hands or feet? This is my greatest concern and a real obstacle to stop doubting TMS.
Also, if I do some light neck and back exercises (sometimes even plain streching) after two- three days I end up with abnormal burning and something like unbearable nerve itching. This too freaks me out, immediately my mind goes into some nightmare neurological diagnosis.
It would be great to hear from someone with similar experience.

 

Hi, Delphy. I haven't had your symptoms but they do sound like TMS. Your subconscious wants you to either discover your repressed emotions or deal with a perfectionist and goodist personality. This may not sound like anything new to you, but it's pure TMS.

Try to focus on how wonderful it was that you and your husband took your dog for a three hour walk. I'm 85 and wish I could do that again.

You seem to want reassurance that your symptoms are TMS, which may mean that you still do not believe 100 percent in TMS causing your pains.
That can be hard to do, but that's what it takes to heal totally.

You hold some fear that if you stand up after sitting, you will feel pain. Try not to let your mind think that... you don't want to condition it to expect pain.

I also don't think our mind is shut down when we sleep. I dream too much every night to think that.

 

I'm quite new to tms, but I can tell you that my symptoms gets worse at night. I've been told that this is because the mind doesn't shut down, just as Walter said. The subconscious mind is in control and that can increase the symptoms. To help with this some people journal before going to bed, I've started with night prayer/meditation; just to gather my thoughts and soothe my mind. I also listen to guided meditations.

As far as the symptoms itself, I have problems with numbness/tingling in my legs/arms/hands [I think it's important to check with a doctor so you can rule out any other illness]. I suffer from chronic pain and I used to fall apart after doing something strenuous or even sitting in the car for a longer period of time. Now the pain doesn't change much [except for under extreme stress] and I try to do as much as possible even with the pain. It's a way for me to be less afraid of the pain, it used to stress me out and I lived in such fear that it would be uncontrollable. Now it is with me, but it doesn't overpower me in the same way.


Kindly
Simplicity

 

You got me, Walt.

I might as well be called Ms Sceptical. Instead of finding positive things to think about and search for comfirmations for being a TMS case (and I know I am), I am looking for a micro-evidence that there just might be something else going on.
Now I'm thinking I waited to much for miracle to happen, without much work on the inside problem.
What is more interesting, I read so many books on mind body connection and I always find confirmation of this connection in other people's conditions and problems. But, when it comes to me, there goes denial. This too is described by body-mind experts as a classical case of self-deception.
I wish I could see myself with another person's eyes.

 

Thank you Simplicity for your reply.

I went to the doctor (better to say doctors), MRI did show disk protrusions and bulges in neck and lower back, and I have the diagnosis - cervicobrachial syndrome and sciatica.

But, what good is diagnosis when there is no relief, not from medications nor from physio or exercises. And I am 100% sure that prolonged stress caused all of this. I am not doubting that for a second, I never did.

I lack patience, I know. Like a child, I expect major breakthroughs and it is only a day 3. I am trying to read as much personal stories here as I can. That helps me, even though I freeze up when I realize some people suffered more than 10, 20 years. Fortunately, they heard about Dr Sarno and his program. Thank God!

I just hope I'll be posting a success story here, one day.

 

Hi, Delphy. We all wish there was a miracle, like a pill, that could make us totally well and happy again with little or no effort or work "on the inside."
The miracle is believing in TMS causing our pain. We are not the exception to the MindBody connection. We are typical of it.

You may be hoping for a structural reason for your pain, and that is keeping you from doing the TMS work required in healing. Be patient with TMS healing. It will happen if you believe totally in it.

 

I suffer from sciatica as well.... at one point it improved a lot, right now it is bothering me again to such a degree that I'm having trouble walking. I still walk, though and try to move as much as I can.

I started my tms journey this fall and I've managed to overcome a few of my symptoms, others got worse initially. The most important thing is that I've gained knowledge about my situation and I'm finding tools to take control of my life after years of being in constant pain.

Don't stress about being healed right away, I know you are desperate to get rid of the pain. It's there to teach you a lesson, the greater the lesson the longer it might take. Take your time, learn and listen to your body; you might have to dig deep to unearth what is causing your pain and to convince your mind that you can let go of it. Fear seems to be the biggest problem to overcome, once you've taken control of that you're well on your way.

I'm hoping to one day post a success story too, what a victory that will be.

Kindly
Simplicity

 

Delphy,

I used to have the symptom of my hands going numb when sleeping. It went away when many of my other TMS symptoms left. It is always a good idea to get symptoms checked out by a doctor to rule out any serious problems, but for me, the hands going numb was pure TMS.

Do you have an evidence sheet? I would add your experience with your long walk and how being busy lowers symptoms. This is important knowledge to reinforce.

You're already learning a lot and still early on in the process. Keep on going. You are on the right track.

 

Thanks, Walt.
I've always been an excellent student, so I'll use that as a source of strength to stick by this program and finished it.
And you are completely right, believing in TMS is already a miracle. I have never looked at it that way.

 

Thanks, Simplicity.
I am sure we will be posting success stories. Only, I kind of wanted to hurry up a little. Like that didn't cost me in life.

 

Me too, I haven't improved as much as I had hoped either, when you're in great pain you are wishing for a miracle. I know that some of us need to work harder at it and that is ok - this is my journey not someone else's.

I wish you all the best!

Kindly
Simplicity

 

Hi, Ellen.
Thanks for reassuring me.
I don't keep evidence sheet. At least not regularly. However, my story lasts for two and a half years, enough time to notice patterns.

Increased physical or psychological stress = increased symptoms.
Resting = medium strenght symptoms.
Doing something with mind completely involved = zero or minor symptoms.

So, it is the mind. But symptoms were so overwhelming sometimes that it was hard to think psychologically. Now, I struggle better, I don't take pain killers and trying to ignore the symptoms. But, I try too hard to ignore ending up with obsessing about it, and, that is another wicked game of mind.