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heleng

heleng

Peer Supporter
Hi all

I joined a few months ago and got a lot of help and support with pain in my back and hip and I seemed to have a lot of relief and started to improve.

A couple of months ago the pain returned and just to be careful i went to my doctor who sent me to see a physiotherapist who told me i just had some tight lower back muscles and needed to exercise more and work on my core muscles. So I tried and it has unleashed a lot of pain. I seem to be much worse off now than I was before and my muscles and joints all over my body seem to ache and burn. I am so unhappy. i went to see my GP and she ran a bunch of tests and I am apparently very healthy and there are no high levels of inflammation and they have ruled out rheumatoid arthritis and a whole bunch of things. my only problem was a very low level of vitamin D and I have been put on supplements and need to be tested again in 3 months. I cannot believe this pain all stems from a vitamin deficiency and I keep wondering if this is TMS or an actual health problem.

I have looked up vitamin D deficiency and my symptoms are spot on but I find it hard to trust the diagnosis.

I am going back to see my physiotherapist next week and want to talk to him about ways to make me feel better but I don't know what to say to him. His last advice didn't really help and I feel like I have failed. Do I discuss TMS with him? Will he think i am nuts?

I would value any advice you have as fed up of feeling rotten all the time and in pain

Thanks

Helen
 
Hello Helen,

Welcome back and I'm sorry you are suffering.

I have to say, I've been through the same situation a few years ago. I was tested for RA and nothing was found and I was given a prescription of calcium tablets and they said that should fix it. I took the course and although it restored my imbalances I still suffered from TMS.

The fact that your Dr has ruled out any serious illness should give you comfort. I probably wouldn't discuss TMS with your physio because they tend to focus on the structural problem and not emotions.

If I were you, I would take up meditation so you can remove all of the doubtful chatter and fear in your mind. It will also help you stay balanced and promote natural healing.

I would also start building up an evidence sheet of your symptoms, to help you enforce your belief it's TMS.

I know it's all overwhelming but if you can get over the fear and doubt, healing is possible.

Finally, and I cannot stress this enough, try and fill your day with things you enjoy and like. Focusing on pain and fear, will only bring more.

All the best,
 
Hello Heleng,
Your history does sound like TMS. Have you read any TMS books? It really helped to erase any doubt I had once I read some books on the subject. I also saw a TMS doc and was diagnosed, but that is not necessary. Recovery takes time for many. Be patient with yourself and in time, things will improve. I love that Dr. Sarno said that KNOWLEDGE was the Penicillin for TMS. That is so true.

I seriously doubt that your low Vitamin D levels are the cause of your issues either. Many people have low Vitamin D and don't have symptoms with it. Calming the mind will help.
As hard as it may seem, it will benefit you greatly to take all focus off of the physical body.

The fact that you had improvements already is an indicator that you are on the right track. Hold on to that and let it propel you.
 
heleng said:
I joined a few months ago and got a lot of help and support with pain in my back and hip and I seemed to have a lot of relief and started to improve.

A couple of months ago the pain returned and just to be careful i went to my doctor who sent me to see a physiotherapist who told me i just had some tight lower back muscles and needed to exercise more and work on my core muscles.

...i went to see my GP and she ran a bunch of tests and I am apparently very healthy and there are no high levels of inflammation and they have ruled out rheumatoid arthritis and a whole bunch of things. my only problem was a very low level of vitamin D and I have been put on supplements and need to be tested again in 3 months. I cannot believe this pain all stems from a vitamin deficiency and I keep wondering if this is TMS or an actual health problem.

I have looked up vitamin D deficiency and my symptoms are spot on but I find it hard to trust the diagnosis.

Helen
Click to expand...
My ex-gf just got the vit D dx also, she had lost weight and her "friends" harassed her until she went to a doc. She is the healthiest person I know, runs 10 miles a day but looks like an olympic marathoner, very thin. The first thing a woman doctor said to her at the ER once was "Do you have osteoporosis?"--she knew nothing about her, but that's how they vaccinate you with their NOCEBOS.

Vit difficiencies, seem to be the structural DX du'jour by the white coats. They're running out of structural answers for TMS psychosomatic chronic pain and affective conditions. Docs feel incumbent to find something structural to hang their patient's woes, and modern medicine's failures on, to make the correct TMS DX on. It couldn't be TMS/emotional, that's not what they were trained to say and do--so they hand you a piece of paper for an RX for meds or PT.

If you mention TMS to your PT, he may brush it off like my doc did when I gave him one of the Good Doctor's books. Docs KNOW many of their patients are TMS/"mental", but they don't have the time, training or guts to tell them that and direct them to the TMS/cure. You should not give a hoot what your white-coat thinks if you try to inform him of TMS, all you can do is try, don't worry they will take your money anyway.

See a TMS practitioner for a more objective mindbody DX.
 
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Hi Helen,
I am so sorry you're hurting more. Everyone has given excellent advice! What stood out in your post was when you were told you need to exercise more and strengthen your core. That is a good and healthy thing to do, but not to correct pain. You can be strong and have pain, or weak and have none. Tom is right, the nocebo has bit you in the back ;)

I hope you can focus on the emotional and exercise for its oun health benifits. You are doing great, your knowledge penicillin just got a little tampered with!

Lizzy
 
Hi, Helen. Lizzy is right in suggesting exercise more to strengthen your core. But not to forget that the pain is from TMS. If you haven't yet done the Structured Educational Program, free in the subforum on this web site, I urge you to begin it. It helps us to learn the emotional causes of our pain,.

My sister was virtually crippled by pain and doctors could not figure out the cause, until an East Indian doctor suggested diet. Tests showed she had a gluten intolerance. Not saying you do, but you might look into that. I think more likely the pain is from TMS, repressed emotions or a perfectionist or "goodist" personality.

If you wonder about when to do more exercise, this may help...

Many people have been asking when to resume physical activity. It can be different for different people, and they may fear that activity can cause more pain. The following not only may be of interest to and apply to you, but it is good for everyone to read who wonders about when to resume physical activity and exercise:

Dr. Sarno says in his TMS book, THE MINDBODY PRESCRIPTION, "If the pain disappears but you are still fearful of physical activity, recurrent pain, injury and progressive degeneration of spinal elements, the battle has not yet been won. The pain will return unless you overcome those fears. So patients are advised to resume normal, unrestricted physical activity once the pain is gone, or nearly so, and when they feel confidence in the (TMS) diagnosis.
Don't worry if you exercise too soon and experience some pain. You cannot hurt yourself. Continuing pain with activity means the brain is still in the process of changing its programming (from thinking structural to thinking emotional causing the pain. Stay secure in the knowledge that you will prevail. This has proven to be the case for thousands of patients."

Dr. Scott Brady agrees, in his TMS book, PAIN FREE FOR LIFE, saying "Confidence is huge in the process of (TMS) recovery, and your subconscious knows it. So when you begin to engage in those activities and exercises you once did, you can expect the subconscious to turn up your symptoms in a last-ditch effort to keep you away from the dangerous emotions you've started to explore... emotions that the subconscious is trying so hard to protect. Be ready to fight with your subconscious mind!"
 
Hi

I know gluten isnt an issue as was diagnosed as coeliac a few years ago but yes it does cause a lot of different symptoms.

This new pain has rocked me. I felt i was getting towards being healed. Seeing a physio was good in that he told me i had no structural problems but since i have started the exercises to loosen tight muscles I have become overwhelmed with pain.

My job is stressful and I work with homeless people many of who have addiction problems. I love my job but it drains me and I have been offered a promotion recently. I feel so scared. I feel I could do the job but fear I will not cope and fall apart. At work I am always on top of everything and there for all my clients. I get a lot of positive feedback on a daily basis, I know I make a difference. The problem is on days off. i am so worn out and tired that i feel unable to really enjoy myself. I often feel the pain much more when off work. When at work i often feel okay but recently that has deteriorated and at times I feel I am falling apart. I think the fear of illness haunts me.

I finally went back to see my doctor as I believed what was going on had to be an illness and i am still not convinced it isnt. I feel I have lost faith in my body's ability to feel well and its very upsetting.

Thanks for all your comments, they are making me think

Helen
 
Helen

I am where you are at and i know your frustration...i was off meds for 4-5 month doing ok considering my home life being upside down.

I been going threw a terrible flare for at least a month or more with maybe a half dozen ok days in between.

I have been just accepting my pain and not reacting i am slowly putting myself back on some meds to cope And not feeling guilty at all.

Its very difficult to stay in the tms mind set being in pain.

God Bless us all
 
Hi Helen,

Your history sounds very similar to mine. I started having very distressing panic attacks in January this year in work which then progressed to me having them when outside and then in my sleep. After several months of these attacks I then developed widespread aching and burning in my tendons, muscles and possibly fascia and am still experiencing these pains. In May this year I was given a branch of hope to cling onto for the cause of these pains - a diagnosis of deficient vitamin d.

I was very pleased to hear this news and immediately did my own research about symptoms of vitamin D deficiency and was excited to learn that a deficiency can be the cause of muscle pain, joint pain, anxiety and panic - a lot of the troubles I had been having since the beginning of the year. I then began a three month plan of taking prescribed high dosage vitamin d (10,000 IU each day), followed by taking 1,000 IU tablets once a day for life. I started off very enthusiastic and full of hope but after completing the three months of high dosage I felt no different and in fact felt worse as time went on. I questioned this many times with health workers and was told that vit d is a fat soluble vitamin and can take up to six months for the body to take it up and use the vit d after the three months high dosage ends. I am now half way through the second month of the lower dosage and feel the vit d treatment has not helped me at all, although the info given with the recovery timescales could be correct, but am not completely convinced of this at this stage. At the time of starting the treatment I was not aware of TMS and am trying to work my way through this and come out all the better other side.

I totally know what you mean about the fear of you having an actual real undiagnosed health condition, especially on the days when I feel very sore everywhere in my body. I have exhausted all avenues with the health service after having multiple blood test, heart tests and a brain MRI and was eventually told that they don't know what is causing my symptoms and meds seemed the best that could be offered to relieve the pain. It was at this point that I felt compelled to seek out my own alternatives to what could be causing my symptoms and discovered TMS, and am very much hoping this is the culprit.

I hope this helps you in some way.

John.
 
That does sound very familiar John.

I have decided to take the vit D as I see that as sensible but I do feel this is TMS and that my anxiety is fuelling it. If I had anything terrible I am sure my tests would have found it. But in a way I am ill in the sense I am making my life a battle with suffering. I think sometimes I am so hyper aware of my body it's no wonder I feel uncomfortable.

I am going to go back to doing stretches and yoga because they feel good and maintain health and try and enjoy the feelings and not desperately try and end pain.

I doubt vit D tablets will eradicate my pain but they cannot hurt and my body would be better off with a healthy level. I think my doctor was more pleased than me to find an answer to my symptoms which is quite revealing. Doctors are under pressure to heal us and give us meds which places them in a difficult situation.

Anyway. I am getting on well with my day and enjoying some vit D in the form of sunshine
 
Oh yes, I would definately take up the vit d treatment because it is a vitally important vitamin to be lacking in. My days are very up and down and am at my worst for the first half of the day straight out of bed. Yesterday I felt fairly good first thing and happy but today I felt very bad with soreness everywhere and feeling unwell inside. It's very frustrating and each day is a challenge in some way but am trying very hard to focus on my mind and not my body, but it is hard to maintain, especially on mornings like today.

Take care and best wishes,

John.
 
heleng said:
Hi

I know gluten isnt an issue as was diagnosed as coeliac a few years ago but yes it does cause a lot of different symptoms.

This new pain has rocked me. I felt i was getting towards being healed. Seeing a physio was good in that he told me i had no structural problems but since i have started the exercises to loosen tight muscles I have become overwhelmed with pain.

My job is stressful and I work with homeless people many of who have addiction problems. I love my job but it drains me and I have been offered a promotion recently. I feel so scared. I feel I could do the job but fear I will not cope and fall apart. At work I am always on top of everything and there for all my clients. I get a lot of positive feedback on a daily basis, I know I make a difference. The problem is on days off. i am so worn out and tired that i feel unable to really enjoy myself. I often feel the pain much more when off work. When at work i often feel okay but recently that has deteriorated and at times I feel I am falling apart. I think the fear of illness haunts me.

I finally went back to see my doctor as I believed what was going on had to be an illness and i am still not convinced it isnt. I feel I have lost faith in my body's ability to feel well and its very upsetting.

Thanks for all your comments, they are making me think

Helen
Click to expand...

Helen,
Just reading your emotional description of your pain and job "overwhelmed with pain", "I feel so scared" , "fear I will not cope and fall apart", "I think the fear of illness haunts me" sounds like fodder for TMS big time. Why wouldn't your mind want to intervene by depriving your muscles of oxygen (making them tight and painful)? Based on your descriptors, your mind thinks it is helping you out with a physical distraction from all this worry. Have you ever read the Dale Carnegie book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Life? If not, I highly recommend it after the Sarno must reads: Mind Body Rx and Healing Back Pain.
 
Hi, Heleng. Your work does sound stressful. Try not to get too involved with those you are helping.

I studied to be a newspaper reporter and one of the things my journalism professor told our class was
that reporters need to distance themselves from the people involved in the news by "assuming an attitude
of detached studiousness."

It may not be easy, but it's the thing to work on. A niece is in your kind of work and she has to work on being detached, too.
 
Hi all

It is really odd when you have your words repeated back to you as they seem so extreme. I had to check I used the words "I fear I will not cope and fall apart", "I think the fear of illness haunts me". I looked at what I had written again and felt shocked. I see quite clearly that my stress levels are very high and that I seem to have no coping mechanism other than TMS. This is just terrible and has made me feel annoyed and sad.

I do need to acquire some detachment skills. I am just not sure how to do this. I care so much and I dont want to let anyone down. It is fair to say the guys I work with are a lot less bothered about letting themselves down. I am often amazed at how little things bother them, I on the other hand seem bothered by everything.

I am starting to get seriously fed up with all this....

Thanks all of you. I have realised just how much things need to change.

Helen
 
As my therapist has said to me, the emotional pain is probably worse.

I feel for you Helen, what you said, "I have no other coping mechanism" is something I was thinking this week, then I realised that about 80% of my people I know seem to be either, exhibiting TMS symptoms, have drug addictions or are generally not that happy! So stop beating yourself up for not having the coping mechanism, none of us do! I don't think its about coping really is it? Surely coping is not the same as dealing with things? Only when you can drop the fear of dealing with things can you deal with them, I feel your mind just won't let you otherwise, but in my mind the problem is, unfortunately, everybody fears far too much these days, in tribal times I imagine fear of snakes and lions, bad storms etc was high on their lists, but think about us today, we fear for everything...job performance, health, bills, kids safety, our safety....and that's if your doing OK without all the other stuff life throws at us!

I've got a long way to go myself but certainly I have A LOT of changes to make, but now I'm not scared! I know im going to be good one my inner self gets what it needs. I'm now battling with my minds games trying to put me off dealing with the problems but it truly is very sneaky.

Just remember, it's that same unconscious that gives you the pain, that lets those random thoughts of fear into your head, it knows all your conscious weaknesses and plays on them...deep down are you really scared of the promotion? I don't think so, so maybe it's you don't want the promotion, but you feel you should take it because of your goodist nature. It's all in you Helen, trust yourself to make the right decision and think without the fear factor, say to yourself, what would I do if I wasn't scared of the outcome?! This has really helped me get on with things and make some good decisions that I might not have otherwise.

Good luck and keep posting, it's helping you see your fears that you needn't have.
 
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