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Confidence lost in healing from TMS

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Yoga Lady, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. Yoga Lady

    Yoga Lady New Member

    First I want to thank all the wonderful people on this forum for all your posts, time and love in creating such a wonderful site. It has been so valuable in my working towards recovery? Btw I am AmyBCW, got a little messed up with the login!

    I was on the call last night and thought Steve was wonderful as well as all the questions asked by the nice people on the call. My problem is that when he spoke about needing confidence to heal, that freaked me out! I mow have all these obsessive thoughts going through my head that I don't have confidence and therefore will not heal. I am definitely my worst enemy as most of us are! Anyone dealing with this, and if so how are you self soothing? Thank you!

    Also want to thank those that responded to my post under AmyBCW!
  2. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Yoga Lady, How I deal with obsessive thoughts is to listen to my Audible version of Dr. Sarno's book…he's actually reading it so I feel like he's personally encouraging. Or, I'll listen to SteveO's books on my text-to-speech with my Kindle. Now that I know what his voice sounds like, I'll just pretend the mechanical voice sounds like his. ;)

    More than anything, just now that anxiety is a huge calling card of TMS!

    Finally, I remember I just need to go have some FUN. That was my big take away from last night. I don't do many things that are just fun. I'm always serving my family or obsessing over the pain du jour. It's going to take some practice to move in that direction but that's my big strategy right now.

    Hang in there!
    Msunn, Eric "Herbie" Watson and Ellen like this.
  3. Yoga Lady

    Yoga Lady New Member

    Thanks North Star! Yes, I also got the going out and having fun. I do do that and am able to have fun sometimes. It's wonderful when I do! However, the TMS creeps back,and I lose my confidence. I will take your advice and buy Sarno's audible version. I have listened to Claire Weekes who is very comforting and will listen again.

    It's a journey that I will continue on and work hard at it! Great having you and all the others on here for support! :)
  4. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    You're so welcome, Yoga Lady. The journey's a lot more fun when we can do it with others.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  5. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have some experience with this question. I agree that confidence or belief is necessary for TMS healing. Sometimes though when we are not feeling confident, or we are in doubt for whatever reason, it is too much pressure and unrealistic to expect ourselves to suddenly decide to just be confident or sure. It can be like telling ourselves we have to relax or be happy. That might be true, but how do we get there? I find breathing is always good. Also, what manageable things can you do today that could help yourself feel a little more confident? I had a funny experience at Costco the other day. They run the checks through the register so all you have to do is sign the check, but you don't have to fill it out. I repeatedly forget and automatically start filling it out as soon as I see the total. I do this almost every time even if just moments before I tell myself not to fill it out. Well, I did it again and the cashier told me the trick was not tell myself not to fill in the check but to tell myself that I wanted to "leave it blank." I asked him if he studied psychology and he said he just read it in a book somewhere. But it works! We can't be successful by telling ourselves not to have doubt or to not feel insecure(when we obviously do). We build success by focusing on what we need and the belief comes from knowing that it is possible. The belief doesn't necessarily come from trying to force ourselves to feel confident when we don't. For some of us that is too big of a leap. I don't think I ever doubted that I have TMS. I did somehow doubt though that I had the strength of belief and that healing would actually be possible for me. Somehow I was going to be the one that couldn't quite figure it out or get it right. Healing is possible for everyone. I choose to believe that healing is possible for me as well, even when I am afraid and in doubt. I am so much more confident than I was before, but I still have my moments. I can see my confidence is building and I am able to challenge myself in ways that I wasn't before. I hope someday I will feel truly confident because as my confidence builds, my fear lessons. But in the meantime I am happy with just moving in the right direction.
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2014
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I recall Dr. Sarno saying in Healing Back Pain, and reading it other places too,
    that our affirmations should be "I am healed," not "I am going to be healed."
    Or "I am happy," and not "I am going to be happy."

    The checkout clerk at Costco practiced that when he advised about leaving the check blank.
    North Star likes this.

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