I've always been the type to hide my weakness and strive for perfection. When things to do my way, I'm usually down and ill. It's been a pattern in my life. I take time off work to get a break but when I return, I have my episodes of pain; fainting, pancreatitis, and back pain to name a few. I've been experiencing sciatic nerve pain since thanksgiving 2013. The pain wasn't crippling until about three weeks ago. I've been bed ridden since end of January. To make matters worse, I'm 14 weeks pregnant as of today. The pain has been relentless. I've had sciatic pain before but never this bad, never this long. As I've read Dr. Sarno's book I'm beginning to think that I am fearing the changes in my life to come. I'm 30 years old, I'm happily married to the most wonderful husband but a child will definitely change things in my life. I've always said seeing my husband become a dad is more important than becoming a mom myself. I'm scared that things might not go right. That all the pain medicine I've been on for the last two months will have an ill-effect on my baby. I want to throw away all the anxiety and fear and not let my mind dictate how much pain I'm feeling. Living without TMS means enjoying my pregnancy, living life, and being happy again.