Clenching teeth

[untangledweb]

Hi,
I have been clenching my teeth so badly the last two nights, that I wake up with horrible pain in my face and jaws. A friend was supposed to fly in two nights ago, who’s going to cat sit for me and build a front porch. He was having a bit too much fun and did not make his flight. I’m leaving tomorrow morning and he’s getting in tomorrow night. There were a few things that I needed to go over with him for the porch and the cat and some other things, but he’s not here. I know that I could just leave it all in a note or text him. I thought that I was OK with that, but my jaws are telling me differently. I know that it is control issues and disappointment issues. I not a priority. I actually know this about him and none of this should come as a surprise, and it really hasn’t. But the pain in my face and jaws tells me differently.
Suggestions? Anything?
Thanks, Beth

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I know that it is control issues and disappointment issues. I not a priority. I actually know this about him and none of this should come as a surprise, and it really hasn’t. But the pain in my face and jaws tells me differently.

Hi Beth,

I think you've definitely got a handle on what's going on - but have you really made a point of soothing yourself over these things? On some level, you're still blaming yourself for your control issues and for being disappointed in someone who tends to let you down. Knowing these things is definitely the first step. Comforting yourself over them is the next step.

Go ahead and give yourself full permission to feel not just disappointed and angry about the inconvenience, but also to feel abandoned by this friend. Experience the isolation that results from his lack of care, and give yourself permission to feel it, and especially to understand that isolation is one of our CORE human issues - and that it's IMPORTANT.

You have every right to feel these things, and you need to be comforted and nurtured over the fact that your expectations were not met. It's OK.