Hello out there. Here is the story of my TMS journey so far. Just over 10 months ago I awoke in the night with a sharp electric stabbing pain in the rectum. It only last a few seconds but scared me a bit. Went back to bed and didn't really think too much about it the next day. Then, 2 days later I awoke with a burning sensation in the rectum. Not pleasant but just figured it wasn't anything too serious and went on with life. Figured it would subside sooner or later. When it didn't after a month I went to my family doctor. Rectal exam, some ointment given. Ultrasound taken. All fine. Pain would almost subside at times but never total resolve. It started to morph into twitches, tingling, aching. Now I'm starting to freak out a bit. Doctor diagnosis it must be an anal fissure. Provides different ointment. No improvement. Then I started feeling odd twitching sensations all through legs. Odd energy feel in body. 3 months from initial doctor appointment I get a sigmoidoscopy. Surgeon says electric pain sounds like proctalgia fugax but no official diagnosis. See other surgeon that says to "just relax, get a dog, do things I like" and I will get better. At this point I'm convinced it is some sort of nervous breakdown or mid-life crisis and try to move on. But the pain remains. About 4-5 months from the start it flips to the groin and lower stomach. I went on short vacation and was in a lot of discomfort. Started having problems starting to pee. Wheels are falling off! Depression. Anxiety, etc. Through research I find a pelvic floor therapist. Includes acupuncture and internal pelvic floor massage. Yup, lots of fun. 3 months of therapy (weekly) with moments of improvement but overall still not 100%. My therapist says there is asymmetry in my pelvic floor and it is quite toned/tight. Lots of life style changes like changing to a less stressful job, standing desk, yoga, meditation. Countless hours of targeted stretches and strength building. Work on gait, posture, etc. A few weeks ago I notice white dots on my legs. Like reverse freckles starting to appear. I have a short freak out but at this point in the game I'm like whatever, add it to the list of troubles. That is the physical story. Now for the mental side. During the time before I got sick, I was under a lot of pressure running a small business. I was in a project that I didn't want to be in (web development) but I couldn't get out of it because I had invested a lot of time and had a team of developers I'd already paid for the work. I didn't even want to take the project in the first place but it was to help out a friend's client that needed a pretty complex website redone. Anyway, it went bad early. I felt disrespected, betrayed by friend, bullied and generally trapped in the project from hell. I take vacation a few months in and have a good time, feeling good health but come back to this mess. I get sick a few weeks after returning. Project is long over but I'm still suffering. I've moved through a lot of fear (I have pudendal neuralgia! My life is ruined!) and feel like I've found the answer with TMS. My introduction to TMS came just a few days ago while reading a review from the film "All The Rage". The idea of trapped emotion (Rage over project, rage over working hard all my life without allowing to play, fear I'll lose my charmed life (up to the illness) all add up. I've been researching TMS online and it just makes so much sense to me. I've had over 80 health related appointments since this started so I've started to take control and cancelled a number of appointments that are pelvic focused. Attending an MBSR course at the moment which seems to fit so keeping that up with daily meditation/body scans. Starting to introduce more exercise, sitting more, etc. I really have faith in this so just looking to keep that positive feeling. I'm not generally a positive person so it's going to take resolve to change that. I'm also not the most patient so realising it might not be immediate results will test me. I have a beautiful 8 year old son and wonderful wife and generally a good life before this so looking forward to integrating back into it after being obsessed with my health. Day 1 is here!