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Christmas Flare Up ? What happened to you/and Why or What do you think 'started it' ?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by breakfree, Dec 26, 2015.

  1. breakfree

    breakfree Peer Supporter

    Hi Everyone and Merry Christmas to you all !

    I began my TMS journey on the 31st Oct this year - and I'm glad to report I've been doing AMAZINGLY well

    Up until just a few days before Christmas - Barr Humbug LOL

    I suffer with a long list of diagnoses but my main one is Chronic back pain - which until a few days ago, had dramatically reduced in intensity , however as Christmas day got nearer, so the pain increased, Christmas day was the worst day the pain had been since I began - I was hobbling about, and could not bend over at all - I did NOT let it spoil our day though - and pushed through the pain , trying my hardest to IGNORE 'it' completely ...

    I woke this morning (Boxing day) and the back pain is WAY better - instead I have the WORST wrist pain ever, as I'm typing now, I'm wincing - but again doing my up most to IGNORE 'it' and carry on doing things as normal (even though it hurts !!!)

    I think for myself, I have stressed about Christmas i.e. money/buying presents/hoping everyone likes what I've bought them ... and on a DEEPER repressed scale, I think ... I miss my estranged parents and siblings, after all Christmas is 'meant' to be a family time ( I have only just this second thought of the latter)

    Every Christmas for the last 12 years have been the same - its like I KNOW I'm going to have a flare up at Christmas time.

    So , my questions is

    Have you had a flare up of your pain, over the Christmas period ? what happened with your pain?


    WHY do you think it happened ? please can you try to explain, why you think it happens ?

    I'm hoping these questions might unlock some repressed emotions :eek:) , for YOU and for me ??

  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, breakfree. I am 85 and live with my dog, rarely see the family. Christmas is a rough holiday for me, and I recall both happy ones and those when I didn't get the present I wished for. I think we all feel pressured to spend the holiday with family and that can cause emotional pains to soar.

    You did great, taking part in Christmas despite the pain. Congratulate yourself and enjoy the fact that the holiday is now over.

    Best wishes for a happy and pain free new year!
    breakfree likes this.
  3. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member

    GUILT, guilt is the big one for me. I really noticed that yesterday.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 5 months, but I have only just met her family within the past month or so.
    I went over to her mother's house yesterday evening for cookies, and her family's gift exchange.

    On the way to her mother's house, I realized that she was wearing the gift my mother had purchased for her.
    My mother bought her a scarf, and knowing we were going to her mother's house where it was unlikely that I had a gift waiting for me (her mother barely knows me) I was mortified. I felt so terrible, I felt like it was going to create such an awkward situation if her mother asked about the scarf and found out it was from my mother. I didn't want her to feel strange or like she has a potential obligation to get me a gift.

    As chance would have it, the first thing her mother commented on was the scarf!
    I felt like time stopped for a moment when my girlfriend told her that my mom got it for her.

    Once I looked at this situation I realized how insane it was!
    Why should I feel responsible for any of this?? Why did I harbor any kind of feeling for it??
    I can't help that my mother bought a scarf for my girlfriend, I can't help that she decided to wear it, and I can't help that her mom didn't get me anything. I also can't help if she were to feel strange about this! I also shouldn't care. Not to say you should disregard people's feelings, but the fact of the matter is that she didn't owe me a gift, and I have no control over how people feel. In any situation.

    The situation also wasn't awkward, I just assumed it would be because I feel so responsible for how people feel.

    Where did I get this sense of responsibility from? And why do I feel so guilty over something I had no involvement in apart from BEING ALIVE?
    Living this way is taking a toll on me not only mentally but also physically. Part of me wishes I could have total disregard for people rather than feeling complete responsibility!
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2015
    breakfree likes this.
  4. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Breakfree,

    I like the name btw.

    I think TMS is heightened during Xmas because we have more time to be with our thoughts, which can in fact wreak havoc on our well being and turn up the volume on our pain.

    It should be a time to be kind to one another and should I add, to ourselves. Unfortunately, we always gravitate towards the negative and anxiety and depression is usually at an all time high.

    I've been practicing deep breathing, mindfulness and loving - kindness meditation to keep any harmful thoughts at bay and helping keep my symptoms at ease.

    Wishing you a wonderful Boxing Day and pain-free 2016.

    God bless
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2015
    breakfree likes this.
  5. Crissyxox

    Crissyxox Peer Supporter

    I definitely had an increase in symptoms. The more uncomfortable I was around my family (deep repressed anger and years of emotional abuse) the more symptoms I got. While it sucks I am definitely reassured as it reinforces the tms diagnosis. Something that did alarm me though is how much I felt guilty. The real work was showing myself kindness in those moments. It's been educational and eye opening.

    I hope you are doing better.

    breakfree likes this.

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