Checking in after a week and after seeing TMS Doctor

[Stormshadow]

Hey everyone. It's weird to think that it has been a week since I have been on the forums. I posted for the first time last week about thinking I might have TMS and all of you were really supportive and I really appreciate all of that. At that time, i was getting ready to go and visit Dr. Gwodz in Somerset NJ who is a TMS specialist. Well I had that appointment and he said that he is 99.9% sure I have TMS and can't say 100% since he is a doctor and has to leave some room for any possibility. Basically said all of my pains are due to the stressors in my life last year, along with my personality and childhood issues. If anyone has the chance to go and see him I would highly recommend it. I spent about 90 minutes with him for a consultation and it was covered by my insurance. I will be attending a 2 hour lecture that he will be doing in 2 weeks to go over things in more detail. And starting next week he feels strongly about me seeing a psychologist named Dr. Chan who was trained by Sarno's psychologist. Although I have a current psychologist, he wanted me to switch over at least for a few months to see someone speciliazied in TMS, esp3ecially given the amount of issues that I have physically and mentally. He did say that he has a high confidence rate in my recovery and I already had a phone conversation with Dr. Chan who said she never had a TMS patient she didn't cure. SO that made me feel good. He told me to stop going to physical therapy and start focusing on the psychological. He told me to junk my trigger point books and research efforts on the internet and stop the constant stretching for stiff muscles. Stretching is fine before exercise as long as I'm not doing it to help with a broken body.

It took some courage on my part to stop physical therapy. I asked him about trigger points and he said I had them but they are caused by the TMS. HE also said most doctors would say I have fibromyalgia which is TMS.

It's funny because I'm most obsessed about my arms and hands due to my video gaming hobby and working at a computer. I decided to not restrict myself to a one hour gaming session and managed to game for two hours and three hours the past few nights. It was a bit uncomfortable but I forced myself to face my fear. I also have been pounded with snow storms here in the North East and have forced myself to shovel and telling myself my back is fine and not to worry. I am pretty sore but did alot of shoveling without too much pain.

Today I'm really anxious for some reason, but I'm trying to remind myself of the TMS and not focus on teh pain.

The one thing I will say is that I have hope right now which is good. And I'm starting to at least face my fears a little bit. I'm very thankful and blessed for that. Thank you guys for your support.

 

[Ellen]

Thanks for updating us, Stormshadow. It sounds like you are in good hands and have the best ingredient of all--hope. That will take you far. So happy for you.

 

[Lily Rose]

Hope is a starting place ... next, Faith will settle in, and Hope won't be as necessary, because you will really know the truth. You have taken all the right steps. Now embrace that Inner Warrior, and know you ARE strong enough for this.

Know that we all believe in you.

Believe in yourself.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[Mermaid]

Hi Stormshadow,

I was thinking about you today wondering how you were doing, and now you have all this good news, I'm so happy for you !

Remember love really does conquer all, love yourself first, love life and you'll be absolutely fine.

I'm sending you a massive hug

 

[BruceMC]

It's funny because I'm most obsessed about my arms and hands due to my video gaming hobby and working at a computer. I decided to not restrict myself to a one hour gaming session and managed to game for two hours and three hours the past few nights.

Don't you think the key term here, Stormshadow, is "obsessed"? TMS seems to attack those areas in your body in which you invest your ego, identity and self-worth. Hence, if you're a runner, you'll get pain in your legs and back or feet. If you're work on computers, the TMS pain will turn up in your hands and wrists as what is usually diagnoses as RSI.

Sounds like you're did the right thing contacting Dr. Gwodz, and I'm sure Dr Chan will prove extremely useful in your TMS recovery too. I'm looking forward to hearing about all the progress I'm sure you're going to make.

BruceMC

 

[Stormshadow]

Thanks guys. I'm seeing Dr. Chan this Wednesday night and am looking forward to it. It's funny because I can buy into and believe the TMS diagnosis with my back and neck and jaw pain. However, I have pain in both inner elbows with numbness in the ring and pinky fingers. This is the stuff that freaks me out. Partially because of my desire to have my hands to enjoy the gaming and computers. However, the numbness stuff freaks me out and I'm just afraid to do things out of fear that I will make it worse. I keep asking myself what if I have a trapped nerve in there and I'm doing more damage. The TMS doctor told me to play and not worry about doing more damage, but I still get scared.

 

[Mermaid]

Hi Stormshadow,

You have TMS, nothing else. The language you use in your post tells me that you have fallen into the same trap we all do. You are freaked out by your symptoms and afraid doing anything for fear of making them worse. Be aware that TMS survives due to the fear-tension-fear cycle we put ourselves into, once we break the cycle the symptoms must inevitably receed.

TMS is tension gone crazy, nothing causes tension like fear. Lose the fear, lose the tension and HEY PESTO you're on your way !

Enjoy your session with Dr.Chan

 

[lilyboo83]

Hi Stormshadow. Just checking in to see how you are?

 

[Mermaid]

Hi Stormshadow,

Just wondering how you are ? Hope you're doing OK

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Shadowstorm, your doctor gives you the same good advice as Steve Ozanich... play and don't worry about
doing more damage to your body. The less we think we're in pain, the better. Pleasant distractions will
take your mind off pain and fear of hurting ourselves.

 

[Stormshadow]

Thanks everyone for checking in to see how I was doing. To be honest, i was making pretty good strides over the past two weeks, but the past three days I hit a major fear wall with regards to my arms. Alot of the pain in my back and neck and leg has simmered down quite a bit. I've been trying to just not be afraid. About two months ago I was afraid to bend over or do anything out of fear of hurting myself. I was so stiff. Now I feel like I am definitely much more mobile and not worrying so much. I've been seeing Dr. Chan and Dr. Gwodz who have helped quite a bit. Dr. Chan has been helping me embrace that child side of my psyche which has its own very dark side.

However, the past few nights I have been using the computer alot at home and as I was doing it my wrist and forearms were hurting quite a bit. I went to the gym and did bicep curls for the first time in awhile on Friday and the next two days my biceps hurt but also my inner forearms. They hurt alot. My right inner elbow also had a really sharp pain in it. Well now my thumb, forearms, wrist and elbow are all killing me. Because of how imporant my arms are to me, I get so much more obsessed about my arms. I was even playing my video games the past few weeks for a few hours at a time. And I wasn't allowing myself to get afraid. But the past few nights I used the computer at home and whammo. I am in this viscious cycle of fearing that I have a structural issue like golfer's elbow or something else. Found myself today looking up remedies on the internet for that. I feel that I either have a structural abnormality or perhaps I'm being punished for something. I don't know. I am going to go to the gym at lunch time today and just keep it to a cardio workout.

I just hate the burning, tingling and sharp pains in my arms. I can feel precise spots that kill like anything. I don't want to give in and stop doing what I'm doing. It felt good to start doing the stuff I loved and not hold myself to restrictions (i.e. keep cardio to 20 mins; don't play games for more than 1 hour; don't type without taking a break every 15 mins; etc). But I'm afraid all of a sudden that I overdid it and perhaps it really is repetitive stress injury.

I was really angry over the weekend about a few things to and just kept it bottled in and was emotional so that could have played into everything. And I foudn myself allowing that child like side of my personality that has its dark side to indulge in things it shouldn't without judging it. And that's where I get that fear of getting punished stuff. I feel so messed up. Ugh.