Change of Therapist and Journalling

N

NIClubber

Peer Supporter
My last two questions for the forum would be:

Is there a good time to change your therapist, and if so when? I had been going to the same therapist on and off for most of the last decade or so. She then started to tell me that the root cause of my pain was because I hated myself, which I don't agee with. I then went to another therapist, who seemed to be helping a lot more, but she then went off on summer leave for the whole of July and August, just as I started to need an appointment with her. I am now seriously considering another therapist to go to, just for 3-4 sessions as I believe I am getting so close to what I am repressing.

When should I stop journalling? I have been journalling for most days of the last two and a half years. I have had a few weeks in there of no journalling (especially just after my dad died about 20 months ago), but my back pains have been increasing in intensity over the last 2-3 weeks since I've returned to it. As I commented above, I believe this means I am nearly at the point of what I am repressing. How much longer do I give it, before stopping for a prolonged period of time, or should you ever stop journalling?
 
Hi, NIClubber. I am sorry you are frustrated about healing and your therapists. I wouldn't stick with one who took two months off and left their patients dangling. But I am not a big fan of therapists. I saw one some years ago and he was of no help except prescribing Librium. I was on it for three years and it helped with my anxiety but he just listened to me talk and we never got to emotional reasons for my being stressed. I learned those from journaling in the SEProgram.

Have you noticed any patterns of emotions in your journaling? Maybe go through them and see if some stand out more than others, then think about them. Your back pain may be increasing because you are close to discovering the main cause or causes of the harmful emotions causing your pain.
 
One of my main triggers appears to be "being ignored", but that was a big part of why I had come to the conclusion that I was emotionally neglected as a child by my parents. I got a massive increase in pain after I sent a text to my best friend back in April to say that he had ignored me for most of the last ten years, even though he used to tell me everything and more of what was going on in his life (including some of the things he maybe shouldn't have told me!!).

I can see big similarities between what my parents did to me as a child (ignore me) and what my best friend has been doing for most of the last decade by him dating two of the most unsuitable women in the world, including his wife. It seems that she has forced him to move into a really expensive house and is making him work 60+ per week to pay the mortgage and the other bills associated with owning a house in the UK.

My parents forced me into changing primary school (roughly equivalent to grade school in the US, I believe) and choosing what secondary school I was going to attend. They also forced me into being on the property ladder, even though they know I love to travel and I couldn't realistically afford to pay for the mortgage and do all the travelling. I also feel they were trying to steer me away from where I was living at the time, which was round the corner from nightlife where I was slowly becoming an alcoholic as all my friends had pissed off and left me for dead.

I can see other similarities between what my parents have treated me over the years and how my best friend is treating me and being treated by his wife.

I think a combination of all that is what is causing me to have so much back pain.

The therapist does offer Skype appointments, but I much prefer face-to-face meetings. I had to stop going to see her as I felt I was hitting a brick wall, but I do feel a fresh batch of impetus over the last 3-4 weeks, and I need some guidance and some ideas as to what to write about in between appointments.
 
I think you have figured out the emotional cause of your pain... parents neglecting you, and how your friend and his wife are triggering similar emotions. See the therapist, but I think you are doing yourself what he or she could suggest: Journal about it all and then try to deal with what you discover. In the end, it may be that you "just" have to forgive everyone.
 
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