Hi
@Ira NYC
I think there could be a few things going on that can keep the symptoms happening, and sometimes, we DO have physical "stuff" and do have symptoms but we're still OK.
I think the first thing is that you are absolutely convinced that there is "something wrong". I'm working through the pain reprocessing work book slowly, and a recent lesson is about how we learn to judge certain things as being unsafe; they can be sensations and symptoms but there are a myriad of other things in our life we deem as "unsafe" to varying degrees. They call this "the flavors of fear" - and suggest that discomfort of any kind to humans is one of the things we tend to deem as unsafe, yet it happens to us daily and we are fine through discomfort. The lesson asks us to identify a trigger: for you it might be something like "what the surgeon said" then it asks about your "flavors of fear" - the thought, the feeling and the behaviors that are fearful: eg: I can't stop this sensation, I feel anxious, I tend to move move my head to the right to "test" the sensations repeatedly (this is all just made up btw, as example). The lesson asks you do this many times and list as many "triggers" as you can. The next step is learning to treat your nervous system with kindness: Observe your body's reactions to the movements that you feel are physically protective. Validate yourself: recognize what your nervous system is doing: "I know you are protecting me" - it can protect you both mentally, spiritually and physically and maybe does all of this at the same time. Re-direct your focus: notice the reactions that are not part of your general symptom: relax your knees, feel your feet on the ground, lower your shoulders, relax your jaw and my big one (I don't know if it is anyone elses), relax your sinus while you take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Lastly, the lesson asks you to express gratitude for the protection by recognizing that this whole effort of the nervous system to keep you safe is sometimes overwhelming or the sensations of this guarding mimic/or are the same sensations of anxiety.
It really seems your biggest fear is that the doctor gave you some physical evidence of the "problem" - however Dr. Sarno was very clear that not all buldged discs etc. create symptoms - that doesn't elimiate a small percentage that do, and it doesn't negate your symptoms. It's just to allow you to begin to consider that perhaps what you fear is a "problem" is a normal abnormality EVEN IF you have physical symptoms. The symptoms are real - whether they are caused by a disc buldge or the physical tension in your body they are still the same and are REAL. The actual cause might be the difference ... but then again, I think that notion splits hairs for you right now that don't need splitting. There are some really big factors that doctors often don't say - yet we focus only on what they do say. They don't say that they care so much for patients that they desire to find the physical cause (because that is their focus of work) and explaination for your pain and will try anything to help you. Most doctors DO care, but most doctors aren't educated in a wholistic approach. The other thing doctors often don't say is their treatment plan when there is none. When I was at the neurosurgeon I asked very specific questions: Is there any treatment at all you recommend to stop the sensations? Have you noticed my fear and anxiety and in this case do you think it matches your concerns? How strong are your concerns in my case? Do disc buldges heal? And if they offer suggestions eg: physical therapy etc. ask if they think that will specifically stop the sensations. Ask what are the next three steps you recommend?
I have had imaging done from my sacrum to my neck. I have had some disc buldges and felt some sensation from them and I think that was what began changing my posture as I subconciously shifted away from the pain. I have neck buldges but no pain or symptoms regularly (I do at times). I think the biggest thing I've learned is that I'm still OK through all of this.
I still compensate, I still have symptoms, I still get on with life as best as I can, at times I'm slower and in more pain than others but I just have compassion for those times like I would going through any hard time. The workbook says "you are forging a connection that nutrues understanding and healing" and doing it in a more loving way by looking at your fears and anxieties, acknowledging them and not trying to fix them or worring so much about "next steps". I think the focus on "nervous system" (for Sarno it was anger and emotion, for other TMS specialists it's something else) is to take your focus off of specific blame on your body or mind for your symptoms.
Blame creates so much shame and guilt. With TMS we often blame ourselves and our inability to feel emotions, blame our personality traits, blame our bodies or body parts, blame ourselves for a lack of what we are terming as "success", blaming our methods, blaming ourselves for not healing perfectly, blaming ourselves (this was a big one for me) for not following every TMS "rule" that every TMS specialist lays out as the way to heal. I searched and searched for other methods until I finally realized that I am FINE. I may have symptoms, I may have emotions, I may have thoughts but all the while I'm still getting by. It helped me stop trying so hard (I still try harder than most people would!) which is Striving and another of the more subtle personality traits (or more like a habit) that Sarno points out.
I dunno if any of that helps, but as I said to someone else on the forum: often the problem is that we think there is a PROBLEM and so our mind fulfills our destiny by creating a PROBLEM. That's not to say there isn't a concern (and it might be a physical concern) but a concern is much different than a PROBLEM to our nervous system which is what is influencing the brain and mind. Can you be OK with not being up to snuff 100% of the time? Can you find some peace even though your path is not 100% certain?
