Day 27 Causes of flare up

So last night I was watching a programme about the period of history I study, and I started getting emotional, thinking because of my back pain I would have to give up a career I love, and worrying about what ifs...which predictably caused a big flare. Normally though i would be affected for days, but I just stopped mid stream, thought how ridiculous this was, and talked it out. It went away. Today I went hiking and hill climbing for two hours, had some mild discomfort, but I did it. I am getting better every day, and will trust myself and my body enough to know that I will get rid of the last bits of this pain quite soon. I just need to stop indulging in self abuse and catastrophising. I also seemed to have convinced myself that the pain will get worse as I get tired and the day goes on, a pattern I am trying to break. Any tips on breaking silly patterns like this?

 

I suggest you try to live in the present moment as much as possible. Not fast-forward your mind to the future and worry that things are going to be worse.

If worry does come on, do what you did last night and remind yourself that it's all in your imagination. Maybe do what I do and don't watch any tv that is in any way stressful or has your mind too active about two hours before bedtime. Spend those hours relaxing your mind. I like to watch Youtube videos about relaxation. Some or most have relaxing music.

It's great that you went hiking and hill climbing for two hours and only had mild discomfort. Try to do as much of that as you can and if any discomfort comes, remind yourself it's only TMS emotions.

 

As Walt said Being Present is key but oh so difficult. I usually replay the past thinking I should have done this or said that. ...perfectionism at work.

Or I am planning the future out in detail. ..perfectionism at work and the need to be in control because it helps me too feel safe.

My cell phone alerts me every evening at 7:30 to journal. Right now I am working on being present and forgiveness.

 

Thanks to you both for your really insightful comments. I have had emotional catharsis the past couple days...I cried hard on three occasions... Once was about the above, the second was about the delayed gratification I endured for many years and how sometimes that was engineered by people who did not have my best interests in mind, and the other in the middle of last night...I woke up in tears and had the realisation that I need to love myself and treat myself with compassion...I felt tremendous sorrow and hurt for myself. My darling husband then said to me...I have been trying for ten years to get you to care for yourself and to see what a lovely person you are...The depth of his love for me was overwhelming. He is also a very patient person. All these episodes made me realise that there is emotional work to be done, but now that the pain level is way down, it is getting easier. I also felt physically lighter last night than I have felt in years...like I lost twenty pounds...so I know now it is possible to feel that way all of the time, which is wonderful,isn't it?

Strangely enough, today was my last osteopath visit on the NHS....she told me...you are about done....you do not need to see me again...everything physically looks brilliant and all the minor rest of the pain will resolve quickly in the next couple of weeks. I grinned and thought, yes I have about two weeks left of the SEP, and I bet if I was not doing that, the outcome would have been vastly different!

So, I am cautiously optimistic, and will keep at the SEP, and writing, and permitting all these emotions to come to the surface so I can jettison all that negative emotional energy I have been carrying around "0n my back"

 

present moment, wonderful moment. future tripping = fear & anxiety.

 

Hi, abuglet. I think you have a wonderful husband for being so considerate.

I'm so glad that the pain level has gone down for you. Keep believing it comes from TMS.