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Can Penis pain be TMS

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Eugene, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    Gosh this is going to be hard. Confessing in public ... argh!

    18 months ago I had my first ever same sex encounter. I've been with my wife for 25 years, but for some crazy reason I got to 50 and something just made me want to try oral sex with a man. This is TOTALLY insane and all I can say is it was a complete aberration. I was away from home and something just clicked.

    It lasted no more than a few minutes, but it has turned my life upside down. I was paranoid that I'd caught and STD. So anxious that I went to the sexual health clinic FOUR TIMES. They gave me the all clear four times.

    But six weeks after the incident I started to get a strange tingling in my penis. I called the clinic and they assured me it was just anxiety. I was MASSIVELY anxious and totally stressed out so I figured they were right.

    But the tingling then became more of a discomfort in the urinary tract, so I went to the doctors and they ran a urinary tract infection test, but I was fine. Being paranoid I bought my own testing kit and ran the tests twice more, but all were fine.

    Over the next 6 months the discomfort became a pain and then spread to my testicles and perineum. It's location varied from day to day and hour to hour.

    So I went to see a urologist and was very thoroughly checked out, including a cystoscopy (where they put a camera up the penis). Again, everything was perfectly fine.

    I was increasingly worried because the skin of the penis had changed. The veins were darker and more pronounced and the skin seemed thinner and a slightly different texture. I went to see a second urologist (last month) and he took a look and said everything was fine. I still think it looks different to how it did, but two urologists and four sexual health clinics all say it is fine.

    It's been going on for 18 months now and I am desperately fed-up to the point of sometimes feeling suicidal.

    So, it the TMS or am I just hoping it is TMS rather than having to face up to it being some weird disease that I've caught and that none of the doctors have spotted yet?
    plum likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Eugene, you have taken a very courageous step in asking this question in what is probably, finally, the right place! I can tell you that this forum is often the "desperation" destination for many many people. I myself was on the right on the edge of becoming housebound and sliding into depression when I discovered Dr. Sarno - and totally got my life back.

    Finding this forum and asking the right question is a big step towards recovery.

    Now, I'm sure you understand that we aren't doctors (as a tax accountant, I'm about as far from any kind of health professional as you can get) but it sounds like you've already been checked out by plenty of docs, and that's important to have behind you before embarking on this path.

    So here's the thing: Just look at what your primitive TMS brain has accomplished - it's got you EXACTLY where it wants you to be - almost, if not completely, 100% focused on your physical symptoms - completely distracted by them so that you don't look too closely at what you already described as an emotional event that turned your life upside down. Or rather, it should have turned your life upside down, if you had any time to look at the emotional turmoil that your brain is hiding from you.

    This is an oversimplification, of course, and I'm afraid that this one ain't going to be easy to sort out, because in addition to identity issues, you're obviously looking at marriage issues, and at age 50 you're starting to look at mortality and meaning issues as well (been doing that myself for 15 years since I turned 50). These are the big ones.

    But here's the great thing about making the decision that you're dealing with TMS. At this point, your doctors don't see anything to worry about. So what can it hurt to assume, for now, that it's TMS? Apart from the price of a few books (many of which can be obtained at your local library, or as e-books, or used, online) the only cost of accepting the TMS theory is some time, and a 180-degree change in your way of thinking. Heh.

    We've got lots of free resources here, and on the wiki. This might not be easy, but when you look at what it's taking for your brain to repress what needs to come out, it's going to be better in the long run to find out who you really are. I wish you all the best on whatever your journey becomes.

    Hummingbird, Ellen and plum like this.
  3. justmike

    justmike Peer Supporter

    Hi. Genital pain is a common symptom of what is more broadly known as pelvic pain. If you have not already, I suggest you pick up a copy of Headache in the Pelvis. It is a very good reference on pelvic pain and explains how most pelvic pain is the result of tension.

    I and others have suffered from symptoms similar to the ones you described. I'm 100% convinced that my symptoms are the result of emotional issues and not pathology.
    plum likes this.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Eugene,
    I second the responses of Jan and justmike. Pelvic, penis, groin pain of all kinds have been reported and treated with Dr. Sarno's approach. Your history of how the incident started and how it has continued: the stress, checking, many doctor visits, worrying all coincide with TMS activity and the TMS personality.

    Reading this, it is pretty apparent, as Jan suggests that the location of your pain is related to the sexual exploration you did. This in itself is very supportive for your TMS self-diagnosis. Many times people discover a significance about the location of the pain --emotionally connected, I mean-- in their inquiry ala Dr. Sarno.

    Andy B
    plum likes this.
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Eugene, seeing as we're in confessional mode, I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.

    A few years ago I had a kinky assignation with someone who blew my circuits on paper but left me high, dry and totally physically inflamed in reality. I was horrified and convinced I'd caught something awful. I did the whole clinic thing (including being left like a half-naked fish on dry land on the examination couch because they were so busy, during which time I prayed relentlessly to god and every saint in the book). Test results were all clear. It was nothing physical but definitely something mental/emotional. It took a while for my delicate areas to calm down but my spirit remained frazzled for a lot longer. Luckily I had a bead on psychosomatic issues and was able to do a lot of goddam 'inner work' that helped me immensely. I also made a return to Tantric practices but this time on a very personal and deeply healing level and these really helped me get my head around why I did the things I did, what I needed vs. what I got, and how to resolve or at least make peace with some pretty ferocious sexual paradoxes. We live, we fuck up, we learn. There is a great Jungian psychotherapist called James Hollis who on the subject of the sexual dalliance once said: "the screwing you get is not worth the screwing you get." Amen to that.

    Plum x
  6. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    Thanks Jan. You mention so many things that resonate with me and I totally relate to that mortality and meaning since turning 50. I think that has really added to making me anxious and depressed by all of this.

    Marriage issues wise is strangely good. I think what happened made me realize that I am actually VERY happy and that it isn't greener on the other side of the fence. My wife doesn't know what happened. It has definitely made me realize what a great person she is. I think I just had a crazy late mid-life crisis. When I went to the sexual health clinic they said it is very common for men to experiment at some point in my life, and for me it just happened to be later rather than sooner.

    And yes, I am 100% focused on my symptoms. Initially I went through phases where I'd be okay on some days, and then other days it would hardly impact on me, but for the last few months it has been very constant. Thankfully, not too bad overnight, but the rest of the day it can be pretty in my face.

    I'm busy working my way through the resources and reading one of Dr Sarnos book, and I have another on audio.

    My gut tells me that this is a mind-body issue, and both the urologist I have seen have said exactly that. Well, they didn't say 'mindbody'. Their words were more along the lines of it being 'all in my mind'.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  7. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    Thanks for your help Andy, and for helping me to realize that what I am going through has so many TMS traits. I'm reading one of Dr Sarnos books now (Mindbody Prescription) and I can see myself in it. I'm also going through a The MindBody Workbook - A Thirty Day Program by David Schechter. But I'm totally open to any suggestions.
  8. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    I read that book a couple of weeks back. I think that is what lead me towards TMS as it became clear to me (at least it feels that way) that I am very tense down there, so I got to asking myself why I am tense. I think I was put off by all the stretching, trigger points, etc, as I felt that unless I could get to the cause the problem would stick around. As soon as I started to read about TMS it did resonate with me.

    It sounds like you are further down the line than me as you're 100% sure your symptoms and emotional. I am probably 95% of the way there. Logically, I am probably 100%. I just need to get my gut, or heart or water, to catch-up with that missing 5%.
  9. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'm pretty sure it was a chapter of The Divided Mind, written by one of the other practitioners who joined Dr. Sarno in his final book, where I read that as we pass middle-age and approach the inevitable end, we experience RAGE against the unfairness of getting old and facing death. However, our brains go to a lot of trouble to repress this rage. Society does not give us permission to experience or express it, but clearly that is just a reflection of the fact that our collective brains are desperate to repress it.

    Reading this was one of my biggest "Aha!" moments in my early TMS journey. Giving myself permission to feel and acknowledge this particular rage was very empowering and contributed to a huge leap in my recovery.

    I keep meaning to figure out if I'm correctly remembering that this was in The Divided Mind - but every time I buy another copy I end up giving it away...
  10. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    I've got The Divided Mind as an audiobook so I shall listen out for that Jan.

    I can totally relate to rage around this time of life. I do feel that way. But in addition to all of that age related age I have over the last 10 years gone through:

    - An awfully stressful house renovation project where we got badly bullied by the builder

    - A legal case resulting from trying to prevent the bullying builder getting more money. We ended up not having to pay him any more money, but it cost us well over $120,000 in legal fees :-(

    - Both my parents died (Mother in 2010 and Father in 2012)

    - My business had to be closed down in 2012 as I was too ill to work due to an unrelated problem, although I now wonder whether it was TMS related

    - Both my children have now grown up

    And that's just to name a few things. It has been one hell of a bad decade - so when you mention repressed rage you might just have a point :)
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  11. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    I can relate with this one and it is the symptom that distresses me the most. Tingling, weird pain and just feels weird when urinating. I have had this for nearly 1 year now and have had a few tests. The Cystoscope was just an awful experiance as you know. I to have been told nothing is wrong and given no explanation for the pain. It must be TMS.

    It's weird how mine started to be honest. It followed immense testicle pain. At the time I was having this testicle pain, I was thanking the Lord that it could be worse in that my member could painful. So what do you know, testicle pain clears up shortly followed by Penis pain with a bout of IBS in between.

    Just got to hang in there buddy and treat this as TMS.
  12. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    Sorry to hear you're suffering too. It does seem our minds play amazing tricks doesn't it?

    I think I've always been pretty sure it was a mindbody issue, but I have to acknowledge there was, and probably still is, a little part of me that worries it could be something more sinister. But I suppose I need to accept that if two urologists, my general doctor, a sexual health psychologist, and four sexual health clinics tell me everything is fine, then at some point I really should take there word for it.

    Do you see yourself in the personality traits that are described for TMS Sonic?
  13. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    Definitely need to take their word for it. I did the rounds aswell panicking like a mad man. Doctors, STD clinics and Urologists. It got to the point where I was flashing my Genitals to that many Drs that I was not embarrassed about it anymore. This just feeds anxiety along with googleing the symptoms, which I am also guilty of in the past. I've stopped now and just try and treat it as TMS along with all my other symptoms.

    My Personality traits I would associate with myself are Goodist/people pleaser.

    I have seen your other thread and was going to respond but will here. I would recommend reading Georgie Oldfields book. I have read a few on TMS and they were good especially The Divided Mind and Great Pain Deception. I just found Georgies really easy to read without getting bogged down with technical details. I could really relate to a lot she was saying and applied it to past events/what I was going through at the time my symptoms came about.

    Well worth checking out.
  14. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    I shall get that book you recommend and read that as soon as I have finished this Dr Sarno one (Mindbody Prescription). Thanks for that Sonic.

    You made me laugh about getting used to showing your genitals. I feel the same. It would almost seem odd these days to go to see the doctor without having to drop my pants :)

    And yes to the Googling too. I have Googled about this way too much and read soooooo many books covering everything from yoga to diet, stress, pelvic stuff. Here's hoping the TMS is where I was always supposed to end up. Me thinks I have some issues to deal with. Good luck with your TMS journey Sonic.
  15. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    Good Luck and keep us posted how you get on mate.

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