Gosh this is going to be hard. Confessing in public ... argh! 18 months ago I had my first ever same sex encounter. I've been with my wife for 25 years, but for some crazy reason I got to 50 and something just made me want to try oral sex with a man. This is TOTALLY insane and all I can say is it was a complete aberration. I was away from home and something just clicked. It lasted no more than a few minutes, but it has turned my life upside down. I was paranoid that I'd caught and STD. So anxious that I went to the sexual health clinic FOUR TIMES. They gave me the all clear four times. But six weeks after the incident I started to get a strange tingling in my penis. I called the clinic and they assured me it was just anxiety. I was MASSIVELY anxious and totally stressed out so I figured they were right. But the tingling then became more of a discomfort in the urinary tract, so I went to the doctors and they ran a urinary tract infection test, but I was fine. Being paranoid I bought my own testing kit and ran the tests twice more, but all were fine. Over the next 6 months the discomfort became a pain and then spread to my testicles and perineum. It's location varied from day to day and hour to hour. So I went to see a urologist and was very thoroughly checked out, including a cystoscopy (where they put a camera up the penis). Again, everything was perfectly fine. I was increasingly worried because the skin of the penis had changed. The veins were darker and more pronounced and the skin seemed thinner and a slightly different texture. I went to see a second urologist (last month) and he took a look and said everything was fine. I still think it looks different to how it did, but two urologists and four sexual health clinics all say it is fine. It's been going on for 18 months now and I am desperately fed-up to the point of sometimes feeling suicidal. So, it the TMS or am I just hoping it is TMS rather than having to face up to it being some weird disease that I've caught and that none of the doctors have spotted yet?