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Can pain or anxiety be from the emotions that aren't repressed?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by veronica73, May 1, 2012.

  1. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I know Dr. Sarno says that TMS is caused by the emotions we are repressing, not those we are conscious of, but sometimes I find even if I am conscious of a feeling, it seems to be what's creating pain and anxiety.

    Today has been tough. Yesterday my boyfriend took one of our dogs to the vet and it looks like she might have something really wrong with her...we're waiting on some test results but of course I'm fearing the worst. She's old, she's already way exceeded the life expectancy of her breed, but still the thought that we might lose her is unbearable to me.

    And, today is one of the busiest days of the year at work. I feel the beginnings of a headache coming on and I feel pretty clear about what emotions are causing it. I'm trying to stay as calm and present as possible but I also can't let myself experience all of these emotions now...I'm at work and I really can't have a meltdown.

    ~ Veronica
    Msunn likes this.
  2. happystar

    happystar Peer Supporter

    Hi Veronica,
    I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I am keeping your dog in my prayers and hope the test results are favorable.
    I think that pain and anxiety can come from conscious emotions. I am dealing with lots of anxiety, I know the causes and that exacerbates my symptoms. Maybe the repressed emotions cause the symptoms and the conscious ones make the symptoms worse. I am not sure, but I find that if I am more stressed about something things get worse. Hang in there, stay positive, and please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
    Peace and light.
    veronica73 likes this.
  3. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Thanks, Happystar!
    That definitely makes sense. I've had a lot of other things going on lately and this probably just triggered me.

    Hopefully she will be ok...she's at the vet today for some tests.
  4. happystar

    happystar Peer Supporter

    Please keep me posted on how she is doing. Best of luck!
  5. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    MaxSwimming2[1].jpg Thanks. She is coming home from her day of tests and we should have results in a few days. Here she is when she was younger and more spry :)
    Beach-Girl likes this.
  6. MsMetaP

    MsMetaP Peer Supporter

    Hi Veronica,
    Just wondering how your dog is doing? Did you get the test results? She's so cute. I'm hoping things are OK.
  7. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Aw, thanks. We don't know yet, she has to have more tests. It's probably Cushing's Disease which is a manageable condition that a lot of older dogs get.

    My avatar is my other girl.
  8. MsMetaP

    MsMetaP Peer Supporter

    They are both adorable. Do you know there's a big Yahoo Group for people with Cushing's dogs? I know a couple of folks who are on it, although I'm not myself. I hear they provide lots of useful info and support.

    Here's me with my girls (my Facebook Header) (if I uploaded it right? LOL)

    Attached Files:

    veronica73 likes this.
  9. Beach-Girl

    Beach-Girl Well known member

    Nice photo MsMeta!

    Veronica I too hope all is well with your dog. I had an experience this week where I could have gone right to anger. But I was (finally) aware of the fact I had a choice. I could get all fired up over something I can't help, or I could choose to let it go. I was able to mostly let it go.

    This path isn't easy (especially when you have a sick "kid") but I feel like I'm learning all the time. And it's finally starting to sink in. I see that in you too.

    Msunn and veronica73 like this.
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I believe so veronica73 because of the reservoir of rage over-flowing. What else explains the boiling point? Although on the other hand we create neural pathways to the body parts that are in pain from this same reservoir so it might not be the immediate thing you're experiencing but it is from all the pressures that you have gone

    So in essence its all these negative charged emotions that are creating your pain brought on by repression, Yes. But set off by personality traits and pressures and so forth. What do others think?
    Msunn likes this.
  11. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    I firmly believe we are here to serve our dogs. Or any animal we are drawn to. Our treatment of animals is a direct reflection of who and what we are as human beings. You, obviously, qualify as one of the 'great' humans ^_^

    I have wondered about this, as well. I am perfectly aware of why I am feeling something, but I am also aware there is much I have tamped down upon in order to maintain a calm facade. In many cases, I deliberately repress. I fear anger, and worse than that, I fear saying something in anger that cannot be taken back. Once words pass our lips, they are forever out there, part of the larger pool of energy that flows around and through us. Where is that balance? How do we make the choice to between our own pain, or possibly inflicting pain on someone else? I am not willing to sacrifice anyone in order to make myself feel better. I get hurt so easily, I cannot bear the idea of causing hurt to anyone else.

    As always, there is such great advice from people far wiser than I ... it helps to see such questions, and helps to hear the various voices answer from their own experiences.

    with grace and gratitude,
    Msunn likes this.
  12. Msunn

    Msunn Well known member

    Hi Veronica. Sorry to hear about your dog. I know how traumatic that can be.

    In my case as I've observed what triggers my symptoms, I've gotten immediately worse, getting bad news from a phone call, for instance. I've had problems with anxiety before having physical TMS symptoms, so I definitely see a connection with my current emotional state and TMS. Being conscious of a feeling doesn't mean I'm exempt from processing it!

    I also understand I have repressed emotions that could be an even bigger factor causing my TMS.

    What's helped me is to have compassion for myself when I get stressed out, or start feeling anxious fearful etc. When I remember "this too will pass" it helps me not get upset about being upset.

    Wishing you the best.
    Ellen and Lily Rose like this.
  13. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Something I am just beginning to acquire a glimmer of awareness about since studying TMS, is that there is a big difference between thoughts/understanding about emotions and actually expressing emotions. It seems to me that expressing emotions is a physical phenomenon in the body rather than a cognitive phenomenon. I have been so emotionally repressed for so long that I had stopped experiencing emotion physically for the most part. I could think about my feelings, but not actually feel them. I think it is this lack of the physical expression of emotions that becomes TMS and is separate from our cognitive label and understanding of what we might be feeling and what triggered it.
    Lily Rose likes this.
  14. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    Envision a cat going from calm and relaxed into a high leaping pounce!

    The more I read on this forum, the more I realize how big the puzzle really is. Your words were about half of one side the puzzle. A critical section. Part of my journey will be learning to express emotion appropriately. I fear expression so much. I fear causing damage or hurt. So while I am aware of the understanding of my emotions ... actual expressions remain cautious. Even happiness.

    One of the other gifts of this forum is the constant reminders that we all so much need. Eventually it sinks in. Indeed.

    with grace and gratitude,
    Ellen likes this.
  15. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Lily Rose,
    I realized when reading your post above, that my use of the term "emotional expression" may not be what I was intending to communicate. Probably "awareness of emotions" is more accurate. I'm at the stage of my awareness of emotions being a private, personal experience and not a shared one, which "expressing emotions" implies. I'm still a long way from being comfortable sharing my emotions with others. But I'm learning to be more in touch with what I'm feeling, especially anger. Before starting my TMS work, I was convinced I didn't feel anger, but now know that there is a lot there. But expressing it to another--not there yet.
  16. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have always denied any anger, to myself and to others. I would recoil when told that major depressive disorder was really repressed anger. It confused me. I didn't feel anger. I felt pain and sorrow. Deep sorrow. I still do not fully embrace that particular concept. The grief-feeling is so specific.

    Your clarification has not diminished the new candle you have lit for me. I do want to learn to re-pattern my habitual responses to certain triggers. It will not happen quickly, nor do I set such unrealistic expectations upon myself. It took a life time to arrive where I am today. With growing awareness, I can set goals to gently ease my way into the new thought patterns. To eliminate a habit, it must be replaced with a new habit. Our minds abhor a vacuum.

    with grace and much gratitude,
    sara_cynthia likes this.
  17. sara_cynthia

    sara_cynthia New Member

    I liked your post. I'm new here and I'm struggling with tapping into my anger. Mostly what is coming up for me is fear, rejection and sadness. Any thoughts on this?
  18. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    Welcome, Sara Cynthia ... you have come into a wonderful forum of very supportive souls.

    Asking me if I have thoughts is asking if the ocean contains salt. *smiles* On a recent visit to my stepmother, she told me that one of the things that has kept me going forward is that I am a seeker. Everyone on this forum is a seeker. We each share a common intention -- to create quality in our lives. This means delving into dark places and cleaning our clutter. We don't have to delve quickly. Gentleness is important. Self-compassion.

    Anger is suppressed for many reasons. I know why I repressed mine, and I know why I fear it. I am exploring this by circling around it, observing. Just that ... observing.

    Fear, rejection and sadness.

    I'll take this out of order and start with rejection. This one I I have some useful tools to share. There is a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel. Toltec Wisdom. It shifted my perception of acceptance and rejection. Through it, I was able to realize that you simply cannot please everyone. If you are doing the best you can in life, and you believe in your values, then do not compromise yourself for anyone. Who am I to reject or accept you? My acceptance of you just means you are enough like me that we can connect. My rejection of you simply means we are not enough alike for that connection. The question is: Do you accept yourself?

    Here is an irony - The stronger you stand on your own, the more you will be sought. You become more intriguing. This can backfire for an introvert *wryly smiles* When you are comfortable with yourself and don't require anyone to keep you entertained, it makes people curious.

    When you stop fearing rejection ... situations can literally take care of themselves. Fearing rejection means an expectation has been set. Approaching situations more along the lines of: Hmm, this is what I'd like to see happen, so I'll present my case to (fill in). They may accept it, and then I'll be super happy about that, or they may reject it. If it is rejected, it only means that the other party simply didn't need what I offered. No harm in that. If I didn't try in the first place, it is guaranteed I wouldn't get what I wanted. Trying for it means I have a chance.

    Sometimes that rejection you fear is from a family member. That makes it tougher. Long held patterns come into play. Emotional needs and emotional wounds. It still comes down to finding your own internal space, knowing you are a good person, and realizing that other people are not always going to live up to what you expect. It is painful. Very. Very.

    I don't know, of course, what rejection you are fearing, but the general tools I offer may strike a chord. Then again, it may not. I simply offer what I have to you. It will not hurt my feelings if it isn't something that you can use. The offer is still there, and maybe it will be useful down the road. We all have long paths to travel.

    Fear - this one you will find many here who can offer various tools. My tools consist of using mantras, or quotes, or bits of poetry. I remind myself that I am safe. Over and over, I will whisper I am safe. For years, I would whisper that while I took a shower. I was afraid of being in the shower and not being able to hear my surroundings. Being unclothed and vulnerable, my showers would be super fast. Now I relish the showers, and pay great attention to the flow of hot-warm water flowing over my head, and how it feels as it cleanses my skin and my negative energies.

    Like the Buddha story, I seek to turn poisoned arrows into flowers falling at my feet. It is a practice. Always a practice.

    Sadness ... ahhh, sadness. While in the grip of that bittersweet emotion, it is hard to remember this very simple truth: Without the sadness, we can never experience joy. Rain and Sunshine make Rainbows. Night and Day. Yin and Yang. The sadness is our reminder of the seasons of life.

    Believing in yourself is important.
    Believe in yourself.

    I believe in you.

    with grace and gratitude,

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