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Day 35 Calendar Watching

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by MellieV, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. MellieV

    MellieV Peer Supporter

    The end of week 5 for me today! I know that this is a "self care" day, but today also talks briefly about being aware of calendar watching. It was such a sweet coincidence that this came up for me in the SEP, because I was guilty of doing it just yesterday.

    We are having record warm temperatures here this week (80 degrees in March!) so I spent yesterday afternoon hosing my yard and enjoying bare feet on the wet concrete- something I couldn't have dreamed of doing just 2 months ago! BUT, because I'm not completely out of the TMS woods, I started to think of how I have to be better by the time the weather really breaks. My mind started to flood with thoughts like, "you had all winter to hibernate and get better," "you have to be better for vacation this summer," etc. I was even literally counting back the months I have been in pain.

    I thought I had kicked the habit of outcome dependency, but here it is, just in another subtler form. I am starting work on kicking these thoughts TODAY!
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Mellie. Try not to check the calendar to see about your progress in healing, if you can. Devote more time to discovering the emotions causing your pain.

    I hope I don't sound too "tough love," or like Mary Poppins when I offer you these quotes on living in the present moment:

    Joan Rivers: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why they call it the present.”

    Jim Carrey – “If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”
  3. fbcoach

    fbcoach Peer Supporter

    Hey Mellie,
    You are just ahead of me by a few days. I was thinking the same thing. Then I thought, you know, I have the rest of my life to do this. As long as I am progressing, even if just a little, it is better than where I have been.
    Also, when push comes to shove, your brain/body have a way of coming thru for you. For example, I had broke my neck playing Football years ago. I had a 14 hour surgery. I was allotted 12 weeks to take off from work. I told myself I would be back in 5 weeks. About a week before I came back to work, I was still in serious pain. I had committed to 5 weeks, and I wasn't going to change it. That last week I was very nervous about going back. I didn't know if I could make it thru the day. Got back to work and had no problems at all. The point of all of this is you CAN enjoy your summer vacation. It's a choice. It may or may not be pain-free, but you have a choice to suffer or not. If it doesn't work out the way you imagine it, try it again, maybe taking smaller steps with smaller expectations. It will eventually work out. Trust me. I have been dealing with chronic pain since 92' and I always get thru whatever situation occurs. This program ALWAYS allows for faith.
    Best Wishes!
  4. MellieV

    MellieV Peer Supporter

    Thanks for this, fbc. I think I need this kind of motivation to remember that I have the choice to enjoy what I want. I forget it often when my mind goes back to the pain and discomfort. I am definitely a work in progress!
  5. MellieV

    MellieV Peer Supporter

    LOL! Not at all like Mary Poppins, Walt! Thank you, I always enjoy your responses.
  6. fbcoach

    fbcoach Peer Supporter

    Something I have been thinking about........maybe I/we shouldn't be thinking about getting pain-free, as much as we should be thinking of better ways of dealing with the pain. I feel we have more control over that. Just a thought!
    MellieV likes this.

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