Buzzing skin worst when at home

[bobbarr]

I have made huge strides, having come to believe years ago that my various aches and pains are TMS. I have seen first hand how applying Sarno's techniques cured my neck pain. In ways it was like magic. So I am a believer, but my faith is wavering because of some recent events.

There is a mold source in my home. I've at times in the past I've experienced a low level skin buzzing/burning when walking into my house. But it was completely resolved with probiotics (this was before I knew anything about TMS). So I had no need for TMS therapies for my skin bc I felt fine. But then a little over a year ago my AC broke and the guy smothered duct sealant all over the place. Ever since my skin has been ON FIRE 24/7 whenever I'm in my house. I have been journaling, meditating, seeing a therapist. You need to trust me when I say that I am very aware of what goes on in my head and what sorts of things bother me. Need to be perfect, liked, successful, need for fairness and justice in the world. I have done a LOT of work on this. All to no avail. I cannot get the skin burning to stop. So when I say my faith is wavering, perhaps I am actually allergic to whatever the hell is in that duct sealant and the new 5 ton coil. I am beyond exhausted, and am this close to just getting an RX for gabapentin to stop the burning.

I don't feel this burning outside my home and my wife and kids have no issues being in the house. This is why I know its not a nerve damage issue, and why I still have a thread of hope that this is TMS. I have seen it go away after a really good therapy or journaling sessions. But it keeps coming back, leading me to think that the journaling/therapy might actually be placebo, which flies in the face of everything TMS is about. And this past 10 days, despite nothing out of the ordinary happening, my skin issue, which usually undulates for whatever reason, has been going full blast.

Any insight and similar stories and success would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Bitzalel Brown]

Hi Bob
My heart goes out to you and I can really imagine how difficult it is that your home has become a place that causes so much pain and tension. But what I can tell you is that the largest organ of our body is our skin. It is your protection both physical and metaphysical. It represents our way to hide behind who we really are. It sound like you have done tons of work on getting in contact with yourself and that is the deep ground work that you needed in the past. I may suggest trying to recognize that you have a deep fear that this burning " is going to screw up my whole life". "everything I have worked on for years of TMS practice out the window" this is a deep fear and can enrage us. I think you need to work on observing your physical body as an outside observer, be aware of just them sensations you feel moving places in your body from place to place. Try , even though it is extremely difficult ,to almost hold the horrible burning sensation like a baby in your arms, unconditionally, no attempts cognitively to assuage the sensations just hold them and observe them. I have witnessed this method with many that even stubborn TMS manifestations/pains start to ebb away as we notice the way all sorts of sensations move around body all the time. Be easy, gentle and try to awaken a feeling that " I am SAFE". Praying for you

 

[bobbarr]

Hi Bob
My heart goes out to you and I can really imagine how difficult it is that your home has become a place that causes so much pain and tension. But what I can tell you is that the largest organ of our body is our skin. It is your protection both physical and metaphysical. It represents our way to hide behind who we really are. It sound like you have done tons of work on getting in contact with yourself and that is the deep ground work that you needed in the past. I may suggest trying to recognize that you have a deep fear that this burning " is going to screw up my whole life". "everything I have worked on for years of TMS practice out the window" this is a deep fear and can enrage us. I think you need to work on observing your physical body as an outside observer, be aware of just them sensations you feel moving places in your body from place to place. Try , even though it is extremely difficult ,to almost hold the horrible burning sensation like a baby in your arms, unconditionally, no attempts cognitively to assuage the sensations just hold them and observe them. I have witnessed this method with many that even stubborn TMS manifestations/pains start to ebb away as we notice the way all sorts of sensations move around body all the time. Be easy, gentle and try to awaken a feeling that " I am SAFE". Praying for you

I am very into mindfulness and self-compassion, so your suggestion is not foreign to me. And your suggestion of how I am awfulizing my pain, spot on, as I've learned from my CBT sessions. But I've not found a great way to apply mindfulness, self compassion, CBT to pain. That's why I'm back on the forum: looking for a more formal approach that applies to pain. Until now, I felt that if I just worked out all my crap, with an awareness that my crap is causing my skin burning, that the burning would go away. Part of my issue is that I'm a 24/7er. What applied to my neck, prostate and past pain isn't the same as my constant burning. How does a 24/7er keep "thinking psychological?" The pain is always there, so I can't realistically say to myself 24/7 "the pain is TMS, its harmless, what's really bothering me is such and such." I wouldn't even be able to go to the bathroom.

Coincidentally, I just found out about a book recommended in one of the blurbs of TMSwiki docs "Here he reviews "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown. "In it is a very good description of the cause/source of our unconscious conflicts (the one's that result in TMS). Then a 10 week process is described which will begin to allow the unconscious material to be integrated/digested. I believe that it describes the single best TMS treatment protocol on the planet (and I am not one to throw about such words lightly). At any rate you should be aware of this material. I have showed it to DR. Sarno who was initially quite skeptical (after I described it to him) but later was quite impressed. He believes it is great description of the source of repressed emotions (one of "the best" that he has seen)."

I'm curious what you think about this. My very cursory glance at this point is that it is mindfulness oriented, while also acknowledging that the pain is caused by emotions, something typically ignored by other mindfulness books.

 

[Bitzalel Brown]

The Present Process is a mind boggling book. I have guided people threw the " Present Process" and as Michael Brown teaches anchoring ourselves in the present through "now" awareness breathing can "cure" dis- ease. Our cognitive brain , especially in the right personality keeps us constantly comparing, analyzing past experiences and information in order to predict and "guarantee " the future. This screws us big time we are caught trying to make sure the future is painless, enjoyable while in the meantime we are losing out in our present experience. He shows that we can anchor ourselves by a practice of presence. Mindfulness can be reached by daily breathing with awareness of our breath ( I add body sensations).

 

[Bitzalel Brown]

Michael Brown divides human development into different age periods 0-7 , 7-14 , 14-21 and the emotional developmental period of 0- 7 is critical in the way we develop our "go to" mechanisms of dealing with fear, pain and any other things we would like to avoid. We also experientially learn how we deal with feeling and emotions. Most parents ingrain a distraction attitude in their children by training them to self medicate with food (the child cries give him a treat), TV or any other distraction. Our society is so distraction based that we are out of touch with ourselves in the NOW. We are oblivious to any sensations or feeling and where they manifest until our subconscious go into overdrive and creates unignorable pain or uncomfortableness. We need to stop looking to cure ourselves. As Michael Brown writes so poignantly "we need to stop trying to feel better and get better at feeling". We are not talking only about old buried feelings but rather feeling right now. What am I feeling in my emotional and physical body.

 

[bobbarr]

Michael Brown divides human development into different age periods 0-7 , 7-14 , 14-21 and the emotional developmental period of 0- 7 is critical in the way we develop our "go to" mechanisms of dealing with fear, pain and any other things we would like to avoid. We also experientially learn how we deal with feeling and emotions. Most parents ingrain a distraction attitude in their children by training them to self medicate with food (the child cries give him a treat), TV or any other distraction. Our society is so distraction based that we are out of touch with ourselves in the NOW. We are oblivious to any sensations or feeling and where they manifest until our subconscious go into overdrive and creates unignorable pain or uncomfortableness. We need to stop looking to cure ourselves. As Michael Brown writes so poignantly "we need to stop trying to feel better and get better at feeling". We are not talking only about old buried feelings but rather feeling right now. What am I feeling in my emotional and physical body.

What were your symptoms and how did you resolve them?

 

[bobbarr]

The Present Process is a mind boggling book. I have guided people threw the " Present Process" and as Michael Brown teaches anchoring ourselves in the present through "now" awareness breathing can "cure" dis- ease. Our cognitive brain , especially in the right personality keeps us constantly comparing, analyzing past experiences and information in order to predict and "guarantee " the future. This screws us big time we are caught trying to make sure the future is painless, enjoyable while in the meantime we are losing out in our present experience. He shows that we can anchor ourselves by a practice of presence. Mindfulness can be reached by daily breathing with awareness of our breath ( I add body sensations).

I have been been doing breathing meditations for 15 years and it hasn't kept the pain at bay or from appearing. Also open awareness and body scan meditations. Granted, not always as regularly as I should have. Just mindfulness is certainly not enough in my experience, and David Schechter claims this as well. What else does Michael Brown add to the equation?

 

[Bitzalel Brown]

What were your symptoms and how did you resolve them?

I have had knee pain, hip pain, back pain,stiff neck, headaches, spasms in some sensitive places, dizziness, blurry vision, pains only when I lay down, pains when I stand. Pain when I am sleeping that wakes me up.
In the past I have done the regular Dr. Sarno regiment and it helped eleviate my original pains but my sneaky brain has many times found new avenues for distraction. What ultimately for me helped was accepting myself, becoming more unconditional with myself in the deepest way, anchoring myself in the now and getting on with life. These are big words that sound abstract but I found that breathing and mindfulness not as a cure or excersize but rather a way to see myself,feel myself and be here now has helped me and many people I have guided the most.

 

[Bitzalel Brown]

I have been been doing breathing meditations for 15 years and it hasn't kept the pain at bay or from appearing. Also open awareness and body scan meditations. Granted, not always as regularly as I should have. Just mindfulness is certainly not enough in my experience, and David Schechter claims this as well. What else does Michael Brown add to the equation?

The present process is just that a process and i would be doing an injustise to it trying to gleen some tips from it. I know deep down that It works but it is so hard for people to follow through with the whole process. I can tell you that i felt a tremendous amount of internal resistance while doing it ,which is a telling sign of the change it trying to have on me. I can also add that I have rarely read a book that you can feel every word was chosen with care and precision as Michael Browns book.