Breakthrough tiiiime

[Jettie1989]

I had a massive discovery today.
My CFS symptoms aren’t only triggered when I do stuff, but also when I don’t do stuff. In fact, today I deliberately planned a day off (because of massive setbacks, fun times)
And at 12:00 when I was still in my pyjamas I could just feeeel the anxiety. I just almost couldn’t stay there and just relax and chill. Let alone something like watching Netflix. Hhuge waste of time.

I was aware of my anxiety and the voice in my head (STILL IN YOUR PYJAMAS AAAAA) and at the same time my symptoms getting worse.

I feel this is such a breakthrough, since the last few weeks I’ve been ignoring my cfs symptoms and just ignoring my body and mind, working through the pain(massive setback explained) because that always worked with my tms pain complaints. Apparently it’s time to slow down and be aware of the anxiety of wasting time.

(also yes I know there is no such thing as wasting time, it’s an absurd cultural thing)

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi and welcome to the forum, @Jettie1989!

Apparently it’s time to slow down and be aware of the anxiety of wasting time.

LOL, I'm right there with you. For me, it's not CFS, it's Procrastination. Both are TMS conditions IMHO

It sounds like you're having some great insights. Are you doing one of the programs? Also, are you familiar with Claire Weekes, the absolute queen of anxiety? Way back in 2011, her seminal book, Hope and Help for Your Nerves is the second book that saved my life (right after The Divided Mind by Dr Sarno).

 

[Jettie1989]

Yes I read hope & help, I found it very helpful. I did the program of Alan Gordon, which I am re reading, and started on the other one but found it not really for me.

 

[Bonnard]

Hi @Jettie1989 ,

I relate completely to what you're dealing with.
One thing that really stood out in your post was that this was a planned day off. But the anxiety and voice in your head prevented any kind of planned relaxation and the symptoms showed up.

It's a great example of how our negative self-talk (and impossible-to-meet expectations) can railroad us into a corner that's hard to get out of...and we can accomplish this feat while still in our pajamas--without even getting out of bed in the morning for the more-accomplished of us.