1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
    Dismiss Notice

Daniel L. breaking the pain cycle

Discussion in 'Ask a TMS Therapist' started by Guest, Aug 14, 2016.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here.

    Question
    My tms seems to be flaring up on a weekly basis. It's always left hip/butt pain right now. I stay home with my toddler and am 7 months pregnant as well. My husband is a DO and in his first year of residency so he's working a lot. It seems like pain gets worse when he finally has time off. I wonder if it's a conditioned response; I feel isolated/overworkerd during the week and when he's home for a few days I just want to be taken care of and the pain makes for a good excuse? It's frustrating because I think I know why it's happening but can't seem to stop it. Any ideas on how to break the cycle?
     
  2. Daniel G Lyman LCSW

    Daniel G Lyman LCSW TMS Therapist

    Answer
    Taking care of a toddler AND pregnant at the same time? You deserve all of the vacations. Seriously – what you’re doing is a ton of work, and not having a support network that you can rely on regularly is very difficult.

    Stop for a minute and give yourself the credit you deserve. Really, do it.

    Now ask yourself if you the situation you’re in is causing you to be angry. I don’t think you’ll have to dig very deep to find out that yes, you’re upset with your life right now. Take some time to journal about that. You’re upset, and you have every right to be. Having kids is a wonderful experience, but one that can be extremely difficult. You’re allowed to express how difficult and angering the process can be.

    Lastly, I think you’re right – it’s a conditioned response that your pain flares up when your husband is around. You’re angry with him because you feel as though you’re not being taken care of. And the reality is, you’re right! You aren’t being taken care of. Not by him, and most importantly, not by you!

    I think the real solution to this is finding ways to take care of yourself during the week, so that you don’t feel isolated and become resentful. Taking care of yourself means different things to different people – maybe it’s getting a babysitter so you can take time to exercise (as much as you can while 7 months pregnant), maybe it’s just reading a book away from your kid, or maybe it’s grabbing lunch with a friend. Whatever taking care of yourself means, it’s important to prioritize what you need right now, even though there are others’ needs to be met as well.

    Do that (regularly), and I think you’ll find that your symptoms will subside.


    Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.

    The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.

    Questions may be edited for brevity and/or readability.

     

Share This Page