Bloody ups and downs

I have that same impression. I think for me, like you, the time of analyzing is passed for now and the time of doing is here. I spent almost 3 years in very deep, dark therapy and another year of journaling every single day. I think there comes a point where you’ve learned enough about yourself and about TMS for the time being, and then it’s time to just start moving in the right direction— changing habits and attitudes, and all that.

I’ve been doing OK. I’m working a lot on exercising and building my body up and focusing on doing things around the house. I still have challenges, but my hopes are soaring. I’ve been coming out of isolation and contacting relatives and old friends and reviving my relationships. That’s been feeling really good. TMS can really isolate you—but you do it to yourself. I feel more turned outward, instead of inward. Looking outward fills me with love and it keeps growing. I feel so much better. There are a lot of people in this world who would like some love. Even people I know. Or people I’ve neglected. You don’t have to have a perfect body to do that.

I feel less fixated on studying TMS, and more just back to living. I know that this TMS will pass. I’ve been spending more time with God and it’s soothing my nervous system more than anything else I’ve tried. I feel a lot of peace. For me, I’m also starting to let go and believe God can help me instead of me just helping myself with this.

I was really excited for you when you went out and took your walk at night!!! I hope you can try that again. ❤️

 

This is a great description of living your life. It sounds like you are really doing well and have a good focus on this!!

 

I always love hearing from ya!

I havent been journaling and doing therapy for that long... Still though im analytically minded so ive always been hyper aware of my actions and their outcomes so just getting the knowledge about tms and being aware of my less useful habits made the picture come together rather fast.

I was excited about that too. Ive been out a couple of more times and actually had a friend over last sunday. These last days my bowels suddenly attacked; i was wondering whether that was my tms IBS journey starting. It got worse and worse especially after eating. Then a 72h fast and after that everything was a-ok. I think my colon started acting up because of some stressors and being a little careless with watching football all day.

I'm gonna be going for a walk this evening, or so im planning at least. Ups and downs -- im sure you know the drill. My tinnitus has also been a little louder these last few days so ill just take it slow and take a little step whenever possible.

Yes to the isolation bit! The thing I'm most excited about is just my first words again after a year or so. Its so awesome that youve been able to do so much in such a short period. The sky is the limit!

I wish i was as convinced this would pass as you are. Feels like when youre that certain of yourself it kind of becomes a self fulfilling prophesy -- I dont mean that backhanded btw, i know how hard youve worked to reach this point.

Its weird cuz i havent even been doing that much better but im just... chilling. No pressure, just seeing how were gonna get moving in the right direction again. I'm still in the group chats with friends where dates are planned and whatnot. Makes me long for just one visit soo bad. I wish i could just talk with them for an hour... We'll chat again yeah? Much love