Rusty Red
Well known member
Hello, family. As I recently posted in the SEP forum I stepped away from that program and focused my efforts on Journalspeak and meditation. I was finding lately a lot of my meditations were leading to thoughts of my deceased stepfather, almost like he was there. I don't know what I believe in regards to God or an afterlife, it was just a feeling.
Which led to a sudden realization that I never properly grieved his death in 2013. I was pregnant with my son and had to hold my mom up. As some of you know, that holding up never really stopped as she lives with me now (rent free). I realized some part of me is angry at him for dying and leaving me in this situation.
My JS practice last night was an unsent letter to him. Since I had this realization and did that, I won't say I'm healed, there's still a lot of pain there, but it's different somehow. It doesn't define me like it did.
I have a lot of work to do still but this was significant for me and I wanted to share.
Which led to a sudden realization that I never properly grieved his death in 2013. I was pregnant with my son and had to hold my mom up. As some of you know, that holding up never really stopped as she lives with me now (rent free). I realized some part of me is angry at him for dying and leaving me in this situation.
My JS practice last night was an unsent letter to him. Since I had this realization and did that, I won't say I'm healed, there's still a lot of pain there, but it's different somehow. It doesn't define me like it did.
I have a lot of work to do still but this was significant for me and I wanted to share.
