Big stressors

Hi!

This week i had a huge fight with my wife., two university exams (finals). I know those are big stresses for me but i dont know how to respond to those. Of course today pain is hitting me heavy. I try to work without thinking about it but it hasn't been that bad for a long time. Can anyone give me advice about how to respond to big stressing events?

Thanks in advance for your time.

 

Hi KevBin,

If this was "my dream," I might respond something like this. Maybe this will help:

Journal the event: What happened. How I responded to what happened. How I felt about what happened. How I am pressuring myself about what happened. How might my Inner Child feel about what happened. Sense into your body every minute or so. Use a timer to remember to sense your body (if you can tolerate this). Put all this inquiry together with Dr. Sarno's theory.

"I got angry at my wife. I now feel guilty and at the same time justified. I feel conflicted about the best way to be with her right now. I want to connect, but feel helpless in doing this right now. I am pressuring that I should not get in fights with my wife. I am pressuring myself that I should know how to maintain a "good" relationship with her. I am pressuring myself that I should stand up for myself. It seems I can't win. My inner child feels_______________? Alone? Afraid? Hurt? Angry? Like there is an adult world where people know what they are doing and it leaves me out with no support?" I see the pain is a distraction so that I am not aware of very difficult feelings of______________________.

Short hand: I have been under a lot of pressure inside because of ______________________________________. This brings up stuff I don't want to feel like possibly ______________________________________, this___________________, and this_______________. I understand how pain is a powerful distraction. I now see the real cause of the pain is that I don't want to feel _______________.

Just do this for each item on your list of stressful events. Do this daily. The small things activate us too! This is inquiring into the psychological tension that is the cause of the pain.

Andy B