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Big old relapse

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Notters_1983, Oct 8, 2022.

  1. Notters_1983

    Notters_1983 New Member

    Hi All,

    Been pretty much pain free for a couple of years, except for a minor twinge here and there, and nothing too severe for around 8 years, but this is some pain.

    Had been building in my lower back for a few weeks and got to spasm levels yesterday. Just took me half an hour to get from bed to the bathroom (next door).

    I hadn't even realised that I was under a lot of stress but now I think about it the TMS is obvious. I started a new job a few weeks ago, my 2 year old hasn't slept properly for months, my wife is also struggling with various anxiety problems, and then the country appears to be going to the dogs.

    I'm usually able to sort myself out pretty quickly, after a relapse, but I'm too tired to focus. I have done quite a bit of journalling already, including past and current stressors and personality traits, but I don't know where else to go from here.

    Currently at home with my two young girls running round and destroying the house while my wife is at work.

    Any suggestions very much welcome!
  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    You have been dealing with a lot, and still are! Journalling once again might help.
    How do you feel about the kids destroying the house? You having to be at home in pain and with them?
    Remember that the anxiety creates an ramped up nervous system. What do you do to move away from stressful thoughts (meditate, adult coloring, reading light fiction, watching a light movie, crossword puzzles etc)? Do you practice self-kindness and compassion?
    All things to think about. Perhaps trying one of the free programs here will enlighten you on how else you can calm your nervous system.
    One thing that helps me a lot during a relapse is reminding myself that this is a signal to slow down my mind, and use it as a learning opportunity and not to further stress out about the situation because I know it gets better. I find it’s time for me to take stock of what I can and can not control at these times.
    Notters_1983 likes this.
  3. Notters_1983

    Notters_1983 New Member

    Thank you for your message.
    I'm not so bothered about them destroying everything, more guilty that my wife will have to clear it up.
    Some good suggestions there, have got my crossword book out.
    I need to be kinder to myself that's for sure, and I need to refocus away from the pain.
  4. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    I would counter with, the fact I see repression in what you just wrote. The guilt is probably because subconsciously you are angry your kids are causing you stress, increased responsibilities, maybe even angry at yourself for increased stress to your wife and, anger anger at your wife for needing more (you mentioned she’s having a rough time) while you are stressed and perhaps feeling vulnerable at new job. Not saying all this is true but the subconscious mind is like an irate 2 year old. I try and think lime a tantuming kid when I have to go deep to uncover things.
    JanAtheCPA and Notters_1983 like this.
  5. Notters_1983

    Notters_1983 New Member

    Yes, that sounds about right. Every time they scream I feel everything tense up.
    Very perceptive, thank you.

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