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BELONGING TO SUPPORT GROUPS A NO NO?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I read in someone`s book can't recall who stated its was counter productive to belong to forums ,support groups like this for healing, could someone please clear this up…could it be correct?
     
  2. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I've read that also, I understood it to mean that we should NOT belong to groups like those On Facebook that, perpetuate the pain cycle and just don't believe like we do. for instance I'm on a fibromyalgia group for men,on Facebook, and while there are some really wonderful people there, they are not going to encourage me in the mind-body theory that Dr Sarno has taught, and we are learning and living. So I think that's what that author meant. he meant to stay off any group that perpetuated any idea other than the mind-body theory.

    Mark
     
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  3. IrishSceptic

    IrishSceptic Podcast Visionary

    The Fibro crowd seem to be really self-pitying , I can understand well why that is the case but they are either a/ adamant there is no cure because the doctors(who don't know what causes it said so) tell them that is the case.
    b/ it has become their crutch and identity. subconsciously they would prefer to be in pain than face difficult emotions/situations

    from what I've seen on social media (by recommending a few links to different things with no strings attached& for free mind you) many 'fibro fighters' seem combative and dismissive of any attempts to help.
     
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  4. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I couldn't agree with you more IrishSceptic! Most people with fibro do not trust many people. And as I'm 2 weeks into this, emotions play such a major part in all of this, I hope that many people on these sites could bend, on my group they're continuing the pity party. I would rather hurt like hell looking at my emotions than, go around and around on a freaking train that never stops. I do have compassion for them. But I blame Dr's even more.

    Markus.
     
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  5. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    I agree 100% with Dr. Sarno's assessment of fibromyalgia: It's really a more advanced and intensive form of TMS. All the people I've known with fibro seem to have acquired the condition as a result of the classic Clancy MacKenzie two-trauma process: first an acccident (car wreck, fall, impact injury) followed later by an emotionally crippling Holmes-Rahe life stress event and, bango, fibro comes on as a general all-over pain. I'm certainly not a qualified MD or even a psychologist, but that has been my general impression from reading case studies and talking to several people who've developed fibro. This business they're peddling at Stanford U. that fibro is probably the result of an as yet undetected "virus" seems like a lot of bunk to me.

    I think it's Monte who says inhabiting support groups only reinforces and perpetuates TMS. Certainly, that seems to be the case with PT.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2015
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  6. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I truly enjoyed reading that BruceMC,
    I left my fibro group today because it's so different from what I believe now. I had a fall with minimal body trauma, followed years later by major life traumas, at least 3 one on top of the other. I'm still trying to peace together my timeline, it's difficult!
    Thank you for your input, it was right on.

    Mark.
     
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  7. IrishSceptic

    IrishSceptic Podcast Visionary

    I would agree but to TMS wikis credit the main aim is to reinforce the concept and give constructive advice on how to deal with the situation.
     
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  8. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    I would have to agree with you, Skeptic: The TMS Forum does play a valuable educational role about what lower lumbar pain (and other equivalent syndromes and conditions) really are and their generally psychogenic origins. Becoming obsessed with TMS support groups is of course the direct result of being in pain and also one of the underlying reasons for TMS in the first place. Good to have a place to come home to, but you have to avoid becoming a TMS junkie at the same time.
     
  9. sybilla

    sybilla Peer Supporter

    You are right abou the danger of becoming a Tms junkie. If you "have" to sign in every day it may be not so healthy. When I am doing ok i go to this forum occasionally. If i am in a bad state (like now) I go there all the time hoping for some kind of miracle cure. I know i should do the work and concentrate on myself but sometimes it is easier said than done. Also this is a very interesting forum with so many wise helpful people. Always something to learn.
     
  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Mark

    Thx for that clarification that makes sense
    Regarding the work take the first step today , don't put pressure on yourself to do it....like Steve O says in is book Just do it.
     
  11. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    There's such a fine line, right, between learning about TMS and reinforcing the TMS symptomatology by repeated visiting TMS Wiki and TMS Forum sites? I do notice now that as my TMS symptoms have subsided, there doesn't seem to be as much danger in coming here to check in though. I guess that means I've finally got some philosophic distance on TMS!
     
  12. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    I said to stay away from pain groups in GPD, per the advice of the TMS docs, Andrew Weil, and from my own experience. At the end of his career Dr. Sarno was backing away from them too. They can provide information to go act on, or become a perpetual place to wallow in symptoms, constantly reinforcing problems. The idea is to get away from here. Forest knows that and understands it.

    Normally they provide company for lonely people. I've never seen a case of TMS that didn't involve loneliness. Pain comes from separation. Support groups provide connection.
     
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  13. jazzhands

    jazzhands Peer Supporter

    Simple rule of thumb... is it about commiserating or getting better.
     
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  14. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    I avoid Facebook, Twitter, and all other social media.
    I also am very careful about taking any medical advice from Dr. Google and doctors in general.

    For TMS, I stick with TMSWiki.

    For love, I stick with my dog.
     
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  15. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've heard there are some in-person TMS support groups out there. It would be interesting hear from someone with experience with those if they found it helpful or not.
     
  16. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    "Support groups" or support in general is like using crutches. You may need them to walk, but they allow you from having to walk on your own.
     
  17. Dahlia

    Dahlia Well known member

    I am arriving late to this conversation but feel moved to respond. [I stumbled on this when searching for support groups]


    Groups that support pain=>create more pain=>not helpful

    Groups that support healing=>create better quality of life=>priceless!

    This TMS community I think has the power of being a great support group, especially when we participants can keep correcting the steering away from dwelling on pain and steering toward personal change. I think the evidence that this is happening is there in the forums and in the success stories.

    A good support group provides reinforcement of a model for healing. The reinforcement is required because some of us had adopted ineffective thinking, personality traits and life styles that perpetuate the development of pain symptoms. To me a primary service that a useful support group provides is just what this one does: removes the isolation and reinforces a different way of thinking and living to support positive change. Also, success stories provide evidence and instill a belief that freedom from pain is possible as well as fuel the persistence required to change old habits.

    I found pain to be very isolating: I lost my job, my social life and any purpose for living. This belief that I was isolated was very toxic. My experience now is that the more I share authentic, life-affirming connections, the more my life heals.

    Crutches can be a useful tool when recovering. Just because I use crutches in the beginning doesn’t mean that I am doomed to keep using them the rest of my life. It takes extra power for a rocket to leave the gravitational pull of earth. Once far enough away, not much power is required for a course correction. That is how it was for me in breaking away from an old model of thinking and feeling. Extra support (power) was required to help me to change and break away from deeply ingrained beliefs and personality traits.

    I have found a lot of relief from the vestiges of my TMS from participating in a positive change support group, not a pain-oriented group, hence my enthusiasm for arguing that there is a useful way to support those trying to change their lives and eliminate their pain.

    [Gosh, it sounds like I’m talking myself into starting an in-person support group, doesn’t it? I’m so grateful for the healing in my life I’m moved to support others on the same journey.]
     
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  18. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx D

    For those supporting words with regarding groups....i feel that this place is a good source of healing and can be used as a crutch but with crutches you need to stop using them to fully heal. Sometimes i feel this forum prevents me from fully healing because i use it as a distraction instead of focusing on the work and my emotions.

    The success stories are a great source of positive encouragement, it would be great to see more ! But i am sure some people dont bother to write
     
  19. Crissyxox

    Crissyxox Peer Supporter

    I personally think that the forum or support group is only as good as you make it. If you are just looking for other people to connect to it may be counterproductive. If you are empowering yourself to gain knowledge and be accountable for your own healing than I think it can be powerful. I like this particular set up. So far I have found this forum extremely helpful.
     
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  20. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I also think there is much to gain personally by reaching out and helping others. It shifts the focus off yourself and whatever pain or unhappiness you may be experiencing.
     
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