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Believing and Trusting the TMS process...

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Goldy, Dec 18, 2019.

  1. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I've heard this thousands of time from every book and tms website that you have to believe this is tms 100% in your mind...

    I've come a long way in my recovery and can actually make some of my pain go away pretty quickly with just telling my brain to quit it and to stop. It's pretty miraculous. I still have some lingering symptoms that my brain isn't convinced is tms though.

    I think my skepticism is from countless doctors, practitioners (medical and holistic) I saw prior to learning about tms. It's the white coat syndrome that really did a number on my mind and is what is keeping me from moving ahead. I have such a mistrust of the medical profession right now. Maybe I'm feeling a little mistrust of tms as well and that's why I can't heal fully? I feel like lining them all up and screaming at them for this! And what's more infuriating is that they are doing this to a huge population of people every single day making people believe they have something wrong with them which keeps them in a state of pain so that they keep coming back for treatments and surgery.

    I was feeling pretty good today and then I got a new symptom which I have to believe is my brain trying another "gotcha". I never get stomach aches and, yet, today I did.

    Any advice about how to get over this stubborn hurdle?
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Goldy,

    Try as best you can to relax about the symptoms. Your recovery may not be "perfect" but it is huge already. Often the last of symptoms simply go away without much effort. Efforting/pushing away/trying to fix tends to feed perfectionism, worry, and so it increases inner tension.

    "Of course I have symptoms, I'm human!" is one way to greet your worried mind. Then add patience and bringing your attention to other things.

    Hope this helps.

  3. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I appreciate your help; this group keeps me on track!
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2019
  4. Rainstorm B

    Rainstorm B Peer Supporter

    Hi Goldy

    I hear you - this was where I was until very recently.

    I’ve been practising extreme patience with myself and kindness towards the remaining pain symptoms, while very gently undoing some of the conventional medical view brainwashing by listening to lots of mind body podcasts and re-reading success stories, TMS books and other mindbody approaches to healing. But I’m being careful to do it reeeeeally gently, in a fairly nonchalant way... not ‘going at the resources’ to get more ‘information’ as I once might have, but simply as a kind of consistent background drip feed to counteract the many scary things that, like you, I’ve been told by doctors and practitioners over the years. Kind of reverse brainwashing, I suppose? But in a way that doesn’t get my brain more revved up trying to solve, cure or protect, if that makes sense?
    Anyway, it’s really helping and my symptoms are now at the lowest they have been for more than 10 years.
    I had really been stuck for a couple of years recently and was in despair about what to do. It has taken me a long time to realise that the frustration I was experiencing was actually helping continue to fuel the symptoms...

    Another thought, it might be worth actually doing as you suggest and (metaphorically anyway) lining up those doctors and writing out to each of them how you feel. Allow the anger full expression, destroy the letters. And then, let it go.
    Yes the current conventional medical model is continuing to fuel an epidemic of pain and mindbody syndromes. But it is a model based on ignorance rather than malice. I believe the vast majority of practitioners are well meaning but blindly operating within a paradigm that is simply incapable of delivering true healing for most chronic (so-called) conditions. I truly believe that this community, along with many others now, is at the forefront of changing the way the world views and treats many conditions and so-called physical illnesses. A paradigm shift is gathering pace and is now inevitable, I believe. In the meantime all we can do is keep faith with the truths we discover for ourselves and harness the support of those further along the path.

    Keep coming back to this:

    This ^^^ realisation is everything and it’s where to keep your focus. When the pain kicks back in, when the symptoms move about, just remember the miracle of what you have learned, what you have experienced and how far you have already journeyed. Be patient as you continue reinforcing the new knowledge and reassuring yourself you are ok. Because you are ok. Patience. Kindness. And more patience.

    Also, everything Andy said!

    I wish you peace
    Hayley, Marls and JanAtheCPA like this.
  5. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I think all this is very helpful; thank you.

    I think some of the doctors really don't understand TMS and weren't taught it in medical school, but I really think a lot of them like to keep you stuck in pain to make money and keep you coming back. I've heard they get kickbacks from the medications they write out prescriptions for. I think of them all as legalized drug dealers. I do not trust them at all anymore. You spoke about lining them up to write about them. I'd like to line them all up and shoot them for what they did to me. Better yet, I'd like to dub all of them with scary medical diagnoses and shove medication down their throats; a taste of their own medicine!

    I am going to stay at this and relax a bit about the progress. I tend to approach things aggressively, and it simply won't work that way.
    Tennis Tom and Rainstorm B like this.
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Rainstorm, I think you make a wonderful post on so many levels...

    Really glad this is working for you!

    Huge, deep learning:

    Goldy, you're getting there too. Be patient. No one does this perfectly. There is not some great someone who has gone through this who does it any better than you! Invoke gentleness, gently.
    Rainstorm B likes this.
  7. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I am trying, but sometimes when you don't do the work as much and just be and live, "it" comes back with a vengeance. Because of the holidays and stress, it's been a little step back for me. I just need to find some other ways to do this. I swear my brain gets too smart and figures out what I'm doing. I have to find ways to outsmart it!
  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    I get it. Your brain senses the attachment and pressure you might be having about results, no matter how subtle, is that it?

    If so, it might be helpful to defend your right to your own experience with some kind of self support or defend statement. Something like "I get attached to results. So what?!" or "I sometimes put pressure on myself in order to feel better, and I'm OK with that."
    Goldy likes this.
  9. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    That is precious. Trying to repress idea's like this is the purpose of TMS. Sarno said 'secretly we fear retaliation'... I feared losing control and actually becoming violent again.... so I'll reason away my anger and rage... and ow!!!. That hurts
  10. tmstraveler

    tmstraveler Peer Supporter

    I hear you, Goldy. I still have a lot of frustration towards the doctors I saw at the beginning of this process. I suspect that’s pretty common. Why did they keep applying painful treatments to me while I just got worse and worse? Why didn’t they ask more questions and listen to my answers? But I think there’s some key things to remember:

    1) That attitude holds us back. We need to process it and let it go. I think in particular because it fuels a habit of looking backward as well as a narrative in which we cannot heal. Plenty of people with TMS have had invasive surgeries and more and got 100% better. The body heals, if we let it.

    2) We’re connecting one of the worst periods in our lives, one in which we were in not only increasing pain but increasing fear as well, with what was happening at the time. It’s normal to link those things, but they don’t necessarily need to be linked. We made a lot of assumptions at the time, based on total ignorance, and those assumptions can still pop up now, despite our newfound knowledge. For example, I was convinced that my doctor injured my body despite the in-office procedure I received being super common and noninvasive. Also, my pain didn’t get worse until MONTHS later. Looking back, I can see how those two things don’t need to be linked, and yet the fear and suffering I endured at the time lives on, and my brain still tries to connect them. It’s not logical.

    3) We’re here now. And we can heal now. The present is where we have all of our power. Sure, I’ve fantasized about going back in time and making different treatment choices, but the truth is I was headed for this one way or another, as were you, because of how we’re wired and we can deal with it now, today, and achieve a full recovery. The best evidence is in the AMAZING progress you’ve already made.

    So it’s very understandable to look backward with anger and regret, but I think it’s in our best interest to replace that unhelpful reflex with the knowledge that it’s over, and we have the tools we need right now to move forward away from that painful past to a much brighter future!
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2019
  11. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I understand all what you are saying...and I think I will be able to let go eventually once I recover.

    I HAVE come a long way, but the original symptoms are there, and it's creating doubt for me. I step forward, and then I step back...it's those doctors I can't get out of my head. I need to unlink them and not let them have the power.

    I can understand how you feel your doctor injured you because I think all the doctors damaged me. Yes, I know I have to get out of that mindset, but....

    As you can see, I have gone so far, but I have a lot more work ahead of me!

    I just recently told my daughters what I've been doing. It's hard to explain to them. I sent the 20/20 segment, and one daughter said that was done awhile ago. I simply said that Dr. Sarno passed away a few years ago, but other prominent doctors trained with him so that they could carry on his legacy. I'm not trying to convince them; merely just letting them know what I'm doing to recover. It's very hard to explain to anyone and have them believe...they have never heard about Dr. Sarno or TMS; not surprising.
  12. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    My entire family thought I was nuts meditating when my hands were red and swollen. They are somewhat skeptical even now, when I proved that I was right and they were wrong. It took me well over a year to start believing in my heart and not in my head that I had TMS. Until then, recovery was stop and go. Judging by your post, your belief is still in your head. Keep working until it moves into your heart :=).
    nowa, Rainstorm B and tmstraveler like this.
  13. Goldy

    Goldy Peer Supporter

    I try to keep tms to myself for the most part now because when people are skeptical, it creates doubt for me as well, and you are right, the belief is still in my head with some of the symptoms because I can't get those doctors out of my head with their scary diagnoses. It's definitely getting better, but sometimes the flares and original symptoms catch me off guard. I am definitely going to keep working. I've just adjusted some of the homework. Thanks!!
    TG957 and nowa like this.

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