Day 4 Backwards thinking

Honestly the worst thing I have heard from a doctor is that my syrinx is minor and not causing my pain. I thought I had finally found something that could be fixed. It was a scary finding but I read there could be surgery.

Instead the neurosurgeon said it wasn't an issue and we would just monitor. My heart broke. I thought I had finally found a way out of constant pain. Instead I'm stuck and frustrated that I can't break out of this or my doubts.

 

Hello friend,

I've read a couple of your posts and I want you to know that it sounds like you are under tremendous pressure. Being a single mother is really overwhelming, and it sounds like you are also caretaking your mother too? Many many hugs to you.

I have a theory that a lot of women get TMS because they are expected to be the caretakers of everything and everyone all the time and love doing it and if you don't then you're a "bad mother, wife, etc." So you stuff down all the resentment because resenting one's child or elderly parent is considered very taboo, and so your brain shunts all of those painful feelings into physical pain, which gives your brain something to problem solve that resolves us of blame.

I want you to know that wanting time for yourself isn't selfish or wrong. It sounds like you really need that hike in Hocking Hills, and that soak in the hot tub. Could you explain it to your fiance like this, "I want to be a useful, joyous partner and going to Hocking Hills by myself would give me some time to decompress, so I can come back to you happier. I want you to also have time for yourself too, so please feel free to plan a trip for yourself."

Also, can your fiance watch your child just for a weekend, since you worry about your mother having all the faculties to do so?

I also want you to know that I was in exactly your shoes not one month ago, where I was hoping beyond hope that there was some kind of physical reason that I was riddled with pain from my head down to my fingertips, but now I am about 90% better and have had two completely pain free days since then. There really is hope, but it will take time.

Have you read Alan Gordon's book "The Way Out?" It was absolutely pivotal for my success. Dr. Sarno set the stage, but Alan Gordon gave me the psychological tools to implement Sarno's theories.

And this technique here: seems so freaking weird, but I swear to you it works.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with info. I'm the golden retreiver of the group, bringing everyone new toys. Either way, I know you can feel better. You can do this!

 

Thank you! You are very right that I feel the need to take care of everything. My fiance works weekends or I would consider asking him to take care of my son.

I have read The Way Out! I struggle a bit with somatic tracking but try it here and there. I have also listened to several of his podcasts on Curable with Alon.

I have seen reference to tapping but haven't looked into it. I certainly will!

So glad to hear of your pain free time! Thank you for the advice!