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Backwards and forwards. Normal?

But I'm not going to throw away my Swiss ball, Veronica! It's just so nice and comfy to sit on and relax while meditating and doing breathing exercises. But that's all it's good for: It sure didn't get rid of my lower lumbar pain, no matter how many sets of core exercises I did with it. At least, I don't have any lumbar support pads in the racing seats of my little Beamer. I remember a PT telling me that sitting in those racing seats was "bad for my back". BS! Racing seats are ergonomically designed for comfort. I've driven back from Yosemite in them many times without so much as a twinge of lower back pain.
 
MorComm, I bought this really expensive chair that I thought would help me...it really didn't but it is just the best chair ever so that's staying :)
 
Exactly daba:

"i dont know how many times as ive been going through TMS treatment now that my mind has tried to stray back to "oh maybe you didn't do this" theres lots of maybes, ifs, how come this happened? types of thinking going on. seems all of that is part of TMS/PDD."

When I first had a so-called "herniated disk" (right after my mother died in 2001), I followed a regular PT course under supervision with my old family doctor. Sure enough (and more so after I got a Big Check in the mail), my pain subsided and went away. But then when I had my "relapse" three years ago, I returned to PT with a vengeance, thinking no doubt that if I applied the same kind of rigorous work ethic to the PT program, my pain would subside the same way it had before. What I was doing, I realize now, was confirming the structural diagnosis and not attending to the true psychological origins of my TMS pain. Now, I see that both of my pain episodes in 2001 and 2008 were part of a continuum of TMS pain that emerged in my life following the death of both my parents and my inheriting their house where they had fought incessantly for 50 years. I'd gone to school to escape and reconcile their conflict through academic achievement. Likewise, I'd escaped their conflict by going to Yosemite, the High Sierra and the Rockies and doing new first ascents and getting my name in magazines. However, following their deaths, I had to return to the "scene of the crime" and confront the internal psychological conflicts I'd spent my whole adult life evading through over-achievement.

So if you ever start falling back into the PT trap, my advice is, "Don't do it"! If PT had cured my TMS back in 2002, why in the heck did it start up again in 2008 if there wasn't some kind of underlying psychological issue behind it? And I can tell you I worked like a fiend at PT in 2002-2003.
 
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