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Backsliding and New Symptom not sure if TMS

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Stormshadow, Oct 3, 2014.

  1. Stormshadow

    Stormshadow Peer Supporter

    Hi everyone. It has been awhile since I've been on the forums. I've been seeing a TMS therapist the past 6 months which has helped a little, but I feel like progress is still slow.

    I have been going through so much stuff and have been off of these boards for awhile. i'm backsliding like crazy. I have a completely new symptom and don't know how to determine if it is TMS or not. My left foot is having stabbing pains whenever I walk. It is almost preventing me from walking. This is a completely new symptom. The source of the pain seems to be on the side of the foot between the heel and the ankle and along the side of the foot. So its more the side of the foot at the bottom. I'm thinking its either TMS or I did something to it when exercising at the gym when running or doing side planks with the way I planted my feet and perhaps bent them. It has been 4 days of excrutiating pain which hasn't gotten any better.

    ON an emotional level, this week my wife and I are meeting with lawyers and realtors about moving forward with our divorce. On top of that, I'm also starting to feel confused about the divorce process. On top of that, I'm in between new meds for my anxiety and obsessive thinking. My TMS doctor had thought meds may help during treatment on a low dosage.

    My pains are all flaring up beyond belief this week and I cannot stop crying. I'm crying 4-5 times a day. I actually feel this hole that is in my chest like it is completely tight and knotted up. The hole is pure loneliness. While my wife and I might not work on an intimate level (it was my decision and she wants to try and work it out), she is a great friend and I don't have many and i'm scared to be alone and lose the one person I have. In addition, I'm feeling pains in my fingers and hands and starting to wonder if the change in the weather can be contributing to the those pains. I started feeling pain about a year ago last October and I'm worried about going right back to that state and wonder if it has to do with the temperature. In addition, my tinnitus was doing a little better but is also fired up this week. I do acknowledge I have so much going on. I just don't know at one point I should do something about getting medical attention about my foot. I can't pinpoint a moment when it would have gotten injured and if TMS can affect the side of the bottom of the foot.

    I just feel so overwhelmed and am starting to fall into that fear pattern again of obsessing about my body and also being terrified of going backwards and having all my symptoms come back full force. The sadness and anxiety are unreal and I've been having trouble sleeping at night the past few nights.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, stormchadow. I'm sorry you are in such pain. Maybe you should have a doctor look at your foot to be sure you didn't
    damage it structurally. You probably didn't, but it would be good to know for sure. It may just be a sprain and will heal itself.

    Your pain is probably from stressing over your relationship with your wife and the divorce proceedings.
    It's great that you and she are remaining friends.

    As for sadness and anxiety, I suggest you go online and read Claire Weekes. She's written a great book on anxiety
    called Hope and Help for Your Nerves. Anxiety is all in our head. She suggests ways to relieve anxiety. Most of the time,
    for most of us, we just worry about the future and bad things that rarely happen.
  3. Stormshadow

    Stormshadow Peer Supporter

    Thanks Walt. I know anxiety is a huge part of my problem and always has been. The problem is that I can never seem to shut off my mind. It just keeps obsessing and racing and I know that i'm very rarely in the present moment. I actually just ordered the book you suggested and will give it a read.

    I also just feel crazy with how much I'm crying. It just seems unreal. I have recently given up drinking for the past three weeks. I was drinking way too much over the past 9 months. Almost on a daily basis. So I'm struggling with not being able to numb the emotions that are overwhelming me. I've always found ways to avoid such emotional pain. And so I don't knwo if its normal to cry so much.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  4. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle


    From what you've said and the fact that you have not experienced any physical injury/trauma and are fishing for what may have caused the injury, I would strongly suspect this to be TMS. Sorry for all your troubles, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes or feet.


    P.S. I think crying is probably the appropriate response to what you are going through.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  5. Shirley

    Shirley Peer Supporter

    So the good news is you realized the drinking was numbing you and now you are awake and it hurts to feel sometimes. Cry if you need to, try to find something to laugh at too while you are going through a big transition. Practice gratitude that you are in transition. Everything changes, here's a hope that your pain changes soon too.
    Balsa11 and Ellen like this.

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