So, just passed my seven month mark at my job. Was in a very stressful position with content writing, and then moved over to blog just this month. I thought maybe that would help quell some of my stress, and bring down some of the pain that has resurfaced, but unfortunately, it has not. Yes, the holidays were stressful, because I am a mother and a grandmother, and all of the giftgiving and baking, cleaning, plus going to seven parties, was a lot to deal with. That is over, and there was stress with my job, because the end of the month is typically when we need to make sure that every blog has been posted and every client, (3600), has it least one blog written and posted. So this week, was all about posting blogs daily, which is a lot of copying and pasting and writing, that becomes very repetitive. Unsurprisingly, this week has seen a lot of strain on my muscles, no matter what I have done to try and relax them, they got really bad to where I’ve been in bed most the day today, because yesterday, after work, my daughter-in-law came over with my granddaughter, and while she was helping take down Christmas decorations, I was helping with my granddaughter, who is a very mobile eight-month-old, that loves to jump and be all over the place. That tends to put stress on my shoulder and rib muscles, namely my shoulder blades and the ribs, right under the breast bone; this is on top of being at a computer 8 hours a day. Anyway, I know it’s TMS, however, the tricks are not working and the brain is really trying to distract me - just not sure why right now. I’ve been having to use my heating pad, icy/hot, ibuprofen, and that is barely putting a dent in the pain. I have been seeing my therapist exclusively and consistently for the last two years, and she has worked through a number of traumas. I feel like, at this point, I’m going around in circles, and I can’t seem to break the cycle. I have tried to get a hold of the TMS doctor, but no success, and there is not one in my state. I’m really not sure what to do at this point, keep thinking maybe I need to not do full-time work, and yet I feel like if I quit, it will just reinforce my brain that there something wrong with me. However, I can’t work like this and be in pain, every day as well. I have gone back to the books, journaling, I’m even doing meditation, I’m working with my therapist, and doing my daily mantras. My pain is about a 6-7, how it’s consistently been for quite a while now. I’m really not sure if I can heal 100 percent, because it it has taken so long for me to get to this point, but it feels like I’m going backwards again. I know I’m not the only one who deals with this, or who has dealt with this, but it’s getting really frustrating and I’m losing hope. A number of you have been very helpful in the past, especially you Plum, and maybe you could help me to figure out what’s going on now. I’m really tired of fighting and battling this. And for a while, I let things go and didn’t work as hard, thinking that would help. Alas, it hasn’t and I just keep thinking why can’t TMS just go away like so many successes I see here? It doesn’t help that my neice’s husband just passed last night of my worst fear - cancer - at a young 38-years of age. I just thought of something and would appreciate any insights - I told my therapist that I was tired of being a victim and was ready to forgive. Is it possible my brain doesn’t want this and is keeping me distracted so I don’t focus on it? TIA.