After many years of successfully dealing with TMS and almost completely eliminating chronic pain, I am struggling again and probably for very good reasons. I lost my husband 10 months ago to a sudden heart attack. I was the first responder and those moments were surreal and the worst of my life - not being able to save my love. After he died, I made a decision to go through my grief recovery with intuition and grace. My love of life is massive and I did many healthy things to aid myself. Grief group therapy, individual therapy, outdoor therapy, meditation, healthy eating and lifestyle, constant exercise and maintaining strong personal ties with my loved ones. My circle of support has been amazing. With all that, as I approach the 1 year anniversary of his death my body is hurting, my muscles have spasms of unknown origins. I even took a nasty fall on my tailbone (minor but painful) that has further aggravated my anxiety. My levels of anxiety have skyrocketed. I know I am not alone but feel very alone. Had not thought much about being also angry over this loss, but maybe I need to. This forum has always been a place I turn to and am grateful for it. I am developing a new plan for myself and I am not sure what it should look like but am open to suggestions. It may be time to do Chronic Pain Management Coursework again and deal with not-so-obvious issues head on.