Back pain epiphany

untangledweb

Peer Supporter
It came to me about an hour ago.

Even though, I am absolutely, positively sure in my mind, that my ex significant other and I are over and just good friends, my back has been freaking out since he told me about his new love. Really, he’s one of my best friends. I have zero physical attraction for this man.
Louise Hay says that middle back issues are about feeling unsupported. Lower back pain I think is financial.
I have both of them.
He and I were talking last Wednesday, on the phone, and he was telling me how much she liked her. That night during yoga, I did not back off a couple postures that I probably should have. I strained my back. Coincidence? I think not.
Now that I know, what do I do?
 
Now that I know, what do I do?
You simply acknowledge and accept the negative emotions that your brain thinks are too dangerous for you to handle. Writing your feelings down, or perhaps writing an "unsent letter" to your ex/friend, will make the acknowledgement and the acceptance real, which means that your brain will have to give up trying to repress the emotions anymore.

Then assure your brain (and your back muscles) that you are fine, you are safe, and there is nothing wrong with you. Very gently try the yoga stretches again, visualize doing them fully (even if you don't actually do them fully), and mentally nurture your back muscles, until you can do the poses again.
 
Jan, thanks for the suggestions. I think a letter would be beneficial. The second part of my issue is signing up for the yoga teacher training. I committed to doing it about 7 years ago. The back pain got so bad I had to back out. I don’t know what it is about moving forward and pain? Especially when it’s doing something positive for myself. I’m determined to not let this bout of pain stop me. I realized I’m fearful and angry about the yoga. I don’t want history to repeat itself and I pissed that my body is freaking. I went to yoga yesterday afternoon. I couldn’t do the whole thing because I was really lightheaded and having hot flashes. I’m weaning down on my Lyrica. Detoxing and drinking a ton of water.
Adventures in healing ;)
 
I can never do the whole thing in yoga class. Never. And I'm fine with that. I'm not aspiring to be a yoga teacher, of course. Now ask me how I feel when I can't even walk for a minute without limping... (Spoiler: fearful and angry. Pissed that my body is freaking.)
 
I know that I need to be “patient”, but I’m not to thrilled about that. It seems to me that when I’m able to connect the dots, my body should just fall in line and stop it’s bothersome behavior. I don’t understand why there’s a lag time.
 
I know that I need to be “patient”, but...
It seems to me that when I’m able to connect the dots, my body should ...
I don’t understand why there’s a lag time...

Yikes - listen to yourself! Or, rather, listen to your unconscious brain trying to sabotage you! Do not let it. That's the best advice I can give you.

And geez, yes, you gotta give this some time, and keep working on it. You can't undo a lifetime of conditioning in a short period of time, never mind the pressure from traditional medical practices against this work. Have you read any of the posts on our Success Stores subforum? You're not going to find a bunch of quick cures there.

And in case you haven't heard this yet, (our best Success Stories will tell you this) doing this work is really not going to result in a one-time 100% forever cure. The TMS brain mechanism was built into our primitive brains to keep us safe in a primitive world - it's part of who we are. Some of us suffer the negative effects more than others, but very few people will escape it.

You absolutely CAN control your symptoms and get your life back - with a fair amount of work and repetition until your counter-techniques and the change in your thoughts become almost automatic. But you're never going to "cure" it.

Doing this work requires not just new knowledge, but also a 180-degree shift in your entire belief system. And faith.

~Jan
 
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