Back and Forth

About one year ago I had a relapse and it was terrible. Sciatica pain down my leg, my foot was numb and I couldn't walk normally, the pain was horrid. It took at least one month to subside.

I had been unemployed for one year and had some other events that I figured were the cause. Some heavy stuff. But I had been pretty good until about three weeks ago, and this is the crazy part. I wound up being unemployed for close to two years. I'm well into my 50s and more or less had to redefine myself and change my "career" path. Fortunately, I found a job. I figured once I started working again all would be great in the world of back pain. And I really like this job. It's virtually stress-free, in a very progressive and cool company with great people. The money is fine for me, full benefits.. all that. But the old old pain, which was in my right hip area, came back last weekend. And of course it happened when I did a mundane activity, opening a window. Not a heavy window, not a stuck one, just one I open all the time. Before that I've had an underlying stiffness and slight pain at the bottom of my spine that has just sort of persisted for a few weeks. Now I have the "thing" I used to have over the past 30 years rearing it's head again. I guess I'm looking for insight as well as feeling a need to write about it. Dr. Sarno's book was a turning point for me about 15 years ago. For many years I had absolutely no pain and figured that's the way it would be from there on out. But here I'm back again with the old pain in the same place, limping around work, crooked and achey. Does it help to buy another copy and read it again? Any advice from long-time TMS people?

 

The quick answer because I'm starving. Change in your HOMEOSTASIS--your comfort zone. You've been off work for two years (some people would be envious, but I hear ye'). Good changes can cause TMS too--it's the changes the subconscious abhors. Herbie said in a thread today that it takes 66 days to recondition, (I think that's what he said). I've said two weeks you can learn to do anything like mundane brain surgery--nothing too fancy though, maybe a simple lobotomy.

It's too soon to panic, give your un-c a little while to get used to the changes--between two weeks and 66 days--then sleep on it. Sounds like you've got a good gig, maybe you're TMS un-c doesn't think you deserve it and would like it to be safe at home--take the plunge--let your gremlin keep hiding under the bridge--carpe diem!

Yes, read a TMS book for a TMS Knowledge Booster.

tt

 

Just to chime in on something that may be relevant.

All of last year I was trying to sell my mothers house after she died and found this stressful and was suffering from backache during this period. I was also in a job I hated. I finally sold the house last October and also got a good redundancy package from the job I hated.

At the time I was sure that this change would solve all my problems as I wouldn't need to work for a while and could just spend time relaxing and hiking. In actual fact since I've sold the house and not been working I seem to have experienced far more painful flare ups etc.

For me I think a lot of this is due to uncertainty over the future and what job I will eventually do...due to my personality type I think I'm pretty much unable to relax and accept into this current moment and situation as the future seems to be always on my mind.

I suppose the point I'm making is that whilst we often perceive change as good or beneficial it can still have a knock on and repercussions that we never imagined.

 

Thank you for both of your insightful replies. I figured it was due to change of venue/schedule, actually. While it was sort of "nice" to be home quite a bit, I really couldn't do much due to lack of money. I'm also a musician, but I had little time to indulge myself in music as I figured I should be job-seeking before doing anything at all creatively. I'm also like that in regards to the present moment and future, but I've been able to improve on it over the years through meditation etc. I used to be a very worrisome person and I'm not anymore. But this is a big change. My last job was the longest running one I had and it ended on a quite sour note. And it was in a field that I knew I wouldn't be able to find steady work in again though I really loved it. And at my age I was willing to take almost anything decent. This job is more than decent. It is a big change after two years of uncertainty but predictability. Again, thanks.. this is already helpful. Stuff I knew but had to hear from others and I needed to write this as well. You know how it is...

 

I'm glad yo love the new job and it's steady. I've been a freelance writer for 40 years and
I know what uncertain income is like.

If you don't feel as creatively satisfied as you'd like to be in the new work, try spending just a few
hours a day (or night) or weekends being creative. It will give you a big morale boost.

And yes, do get another copy of Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and follow his advice.

We are all buying from amazon.smile.com
which gives the TMSWiki. org a little percentage of sales.

So if you can, order the book there. Thanks and good healing.

 

Walt - you are a freelance writer. No wonder you had TMS. Talk about anxiety!

I did freelance writing for spending money in college. My first sale was for $250 - a fortune to a college student in the 70's. I wasn't up for the risk of an uncertain income - I figured I'd get a day job and write in my spare time. Found out I didn't have spare time! Congrats to you - I know from personal experience you've had some reason for tension and anxiety in your life. It's always been my hope to go back to writing when I retire - but maybe I shouldn't wait for then. You're right - being creative would help in this process.

 

Thanks for understanding about being a fulltime freelance writer and uncertain income causing anxiety.
It was a trade-off to continue working as a writer for magazines or corporations that had me writing
on everything that didn't interest me.

But you could consider setting aside an hour a day or on weekends to write your life story.
I did and learned a lot about myself. It was a longer way of journaling.
It could be a good project for yourself.