Day 1 Baby steps

[Estelle]

Hello everyone!!!

I recently discovered Doctor Sarno and this program and this forum after almost 4 years of pain trigerred by pregnancy and giving birth. First I had sacroiliac pain on my right side and bursitis, then an injury to the left side by a physical therapist resulting in hip dislocation with sacroiliitis, gluteus muscle strain and tendinopathy and the list continues for 4 years ( I don't want to bore you with more details) so I started going into alternative medicine, doctors and even more invasive treatments. Results: pain has been stable in some areas and worsening in others. The strange thing is that after every injury I have had, my body hasn't recovered, it just builds up. So now I have over 10 physical issues, I am like glass so Doctor sarno's advice on doing all physical activities is very challenging right now.

Eventhough I am not 100% sure that all my chronic pain is TMS, I am very gratefull to have found this community where people explore the emotional side of their pain. I have been exploring a bit on my own for some time very aware that stress is affecting my pain and one thing that is clear to me is that I rather be entretained looking at my pain than having to look at the mess of the life that I am leading. With my pain I have the feeling that one day I may be cured whereas in my personal life I feel trapped and powerless. So when I think how my life would be without TMS (without pain), the answer is: very scary, lots of anxiety coming up. In spite of repressing I am aware of my anger and emotional suffering. I want to do this work and look at what I need to look at to stop the pain. I feel less lonely knowing that lots of people are going/have gone throught this and much worse.

Thank you for being there.

 

[blake]

Hello Estelle and welcome to the forum.

I'm not a doctor, but from what you've described, it seems like you've come to the right place. I'm about halfway through the structured program, and although I am not completely pain free yet, I am doing much better and look forward to more improvement as I continue to resolve my issues.
I can relate to what you are saying about the fear of looking at your life. Taking a looking glass to my life using the journaling techniques of the program felt overwhelming at times. What I have found, however, is that my mind will never give me more than I can handle. I like your idea of baby steps, because that's how the process seems to be working for me. I can't make it go any faster and that is actually pretty comforting.

One book I read that has been extremely helpful to me is Nicole sach's the Meaning of Truth. It has really helped me get at those repressed emotions. I highly recommend it.

All the best to you

 

[yb44]

With my pain I have the feeling that one day I may be cured whereas in my personal life I feel trapped and powerless. So when I think how my life would be without TMS (without pain), the answer is: very scary, lots of anxiety coming up.

You'll find that the pain and feelings of entrapment and powerlessness are intertwined. It's very intuitive of you at this stage to know that a life without TMS sounds scary. I couldn't answer this 'question to ponder' for ages for myself. My pain was giving me an excuse to avoid my life and the absence of TMS meant that I would be turning up for the rest of it. Mindfulness meditation techniques helped prove to me that I don't need to stress so much over the future, i.e. the unknown. That's what was scaring me. Taking baby steps can be your way of slowing down the process so you don't feel so overwhelmed and anxious. It's a good plan. Welcome to the wiki forum.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Estelle. Baby steps with TMS techniques lead to giant leaps in healing.

Try not to fear tomorrow and the unknown. It's rarely as bad as we think it is.
Keeping positive, living in the moment are the best ways to stop stress and anxiety.

I try to find more ways to enjoy the day and the present moment.

 

[Porpoise]

Hi Estelle,

I can really relate to what you're saying. I think my own pain/illness is expression of feelings of helplessness - both an avoidance mechanism and in my case also a potent metaphor: I get most of my pain after walking/moving. 'I can't' sums it up well. I'm officially on Day 27 (though I've been on the program for much longer) and am still doing baby steps but I've come so far in the past couple of months. Keep at it - it's worth it. Welcome.