Since I've been dealing with my sciatica pain (about 6 weeks now) and after discovering Dr Sarno and TMS I've been searching for all sorts of negative feelings that might be behind my TMS. They are there of course, but today I realised that one of my problems is not fully experiencing happy emotions. I've had such joy in my life, amazing things have happened to me and often I am like a spectator. Also, I realised today while journalling that I fear showing too much love to my kids. I don't want to love them too much for fear of being vulnerable, of maybe losing them. I lost both of my parents when young. I really want to try better. I have good relationships with my kids but I'm always fearful of letting them see how much I really love them. I know this is not right, maybe not even normal. I need to change that.